Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Eerie Day

Yesterday was surreal.
After a very difficult weekend, I dreaded going to court Monday morning.
I didn't sleep at all. The babies were up almost all night, and I was worried sick, tossing and turning.
You know when you are so very exhausted, and you still have to get up and go somewhere- but your heart is racing, and you feel kinda like you're going to pass out??? Well that was me yesterday before heading out to court.
I geared myself up for it by blasting positive upbeat music while on the way there.
We got there a little early- which was a wonderful feeling, instead of running late. If you know me I HATE being late- but my mom is gifted at this. And has no problem with being late- a total opposite from me.
My social worker met us there, and we talked and waited till the landlord's lawyer came.
It was amazing what lies the landlord was spouting this time.
So we decided to take this case to trial and nail this bastard once and for all.
The trial is set for next month. I'll be praying all month- that G-d will be on our side that day. Or maybe just maybe- the landlord will finally give us a decent offer to get out- and I won't have to go to trial after all. A girl can dream can't she???
I'd been at court for HOURS AND HOURS waiting and waiting for the judge to call our name. I didn't get home until the afternoon.
Yesterday everyone was asking me how I was feeling- because of my miscarriage on the weekend. Truthfully, I was tired- really tired. Physically and emotionally and all I wanted to do was sleep. Which is totally unlike me- I don't EVER sleep during the day- I'm a mom I don't have time for things like that.
Dave is still recovering for the infection, but thankfully he IS finally recovering.
He did me a solid yesterday- because I could barely function I was so exhausted.
He told me to go to bed- in the afternoon, and that he'd take care of everything till the morning!!! Which immediately makes me wonder- what I will have to do in return- nothing is for free after all- especially in a marriage, NOTHING.
I was wondering..was i going to have to do this for him- tomorrow???and the day after???
SO immediately I said- NO! Because that would mean I'd have to work way overtime- even more than usual!
To which of course, he said- he wouldn't ask for anything- which I still don't believe.
I decided to take the offer- and just pay the consequences.
And then headed to bed- I slept for about two hours until my sister woke me up for a phone call.
Turns out my agency was calling me all day- for an audition for Levi. Which is exciting- and nerve-wrecking at the same time. This will be the first audition since my son was diagnosed with delays- so I never know what to expect. But I'm thinking it'll be a story in the end. And probably a funny one at that.
I couldn't fall back to sleep after that. My mom came into the room a couple of times, asking me how I was feeling-and such. And then Dave came in and sat down. He told me how nice it felt to finally sit- to which I looked at him like...uh yeah! I know how that feels. Like everyday!
He had cooked- a really really good dinner- and get this served me in bed!!!!
Now I know I'm gonna have to pay!!
But I didn't care- I ate in bed and we talked alone in the bedroom. Until I heard both my kids screaming their little heads off. I said to Dave, "I think two hours is enough torture for you"
and I went into the living room to see what the problem was.
I love coming into the room and Levi seeing me and totally loosing his shit.
Like "fuck yeah- Mommy's here!!! Thank G-d!!!!!"
You know, something like that.
I put the kids to sleep soon after that, then we watched True Blood and Kevin Hart's new comedy special ( it was SO FUNNY!!!)- Things I'd taped- because I never have the time to watch shows ON TIME.
Both were AWESOME. I love T.V. I really do- it's my only escape.
So that was my day. So before you ask me- How I'm feeling...just know- I am still tired- I will be for awhile. It's a lot for the body to go through. And yes, I'm still a bit down.
But thanks for asking. I do appreciate all your support. And I love you all out there. G-d Bless you.

Kisses my beautiful bitches!
*photo of Violet yawning at a day old

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