Friday, August 13, 2010

So many new things to tell you!!!

We've reintroduced gluten to my daughter's diet- just a little-because her nutritionist suggested we do this. Violet is a "problem feeder" She's extremely picky and can go for days without eating or drinking- which can be a bit of a problem.

Dave and I were so scared that she would regress, and stop imitating sounds and such- but we were happily surprised. She's doing great!!! And yes- she is a bit more hyperactive- but she's happy- and REALLY REALLY FAST! She can out-run anyone, anytime, anywhere!
We had such a busy week. We took her to the sprinklers, the playground, the sensory gym. She's so funny! She's been trying new foods!
I was eating corn on the cob the other night- and she saw it- and STOLE IT! She ran to her table and started chomping down on it! It was so funny! She ended up eating 3 of them!
Then later that night, we gave her a bath- and she wanted out because she heard her favorite movie on the T.V. ( cloudy with a chance of meatballs) Dave asked her if she wanted to come out of the bath- she shot up out of the water yelled in her sweet little girl voice "Si!" I guess she's picking up Spanish from her friends at school. I better learn some Spanish already huh? Sucks that Dave's such a horrible teacher! I better use some Rosetta Stone, huh?
She's been affectionate to me- hugging me and sitting on my lap- this makes me so very happy!
I'm always thinking of my next blog entry- which makes me think I'm getting closer and closer to sitting down and writing my book. I need courage to sit down and write this thing- well that and spare time. I know certain family members will be angry with me- and I have to kind of...not give a damn. Which is difficult for me. There's so much I want to share with you guys- but like I've said before a blog isn't the place.
I also feel maybe when I get all the bad and good memories out of my head and onto paper maybe I'll be able to finally move on. Some of the memories haunt me at night. Sometimes I long for the days- after I had my seizures- where I didn't remember anything. Where all the bad things I've done were erased from my mind. Dave and me had to start from scratch- because I didn't remember our relationship- or anything that came before that moment.
I still can't remember a lot of faces from my past- Exes, old friends. If I were to see them on the street, I wouldn't notice. People think I'm being rude- but it's nothing like that- there's just certain parts of my brain- that don't put two and two together -such as faces from my past.
So don't take it personally if I don't recognize you. In fact, if we were cool, you should say hi to me. If we weren't, well...then it's probably a good idea I don't remember you, huh?
I remember when my memories started to come back. I would lay awake crying- in disbelief that was me that did such things- put myself in those situations.
It was very difficult for me to deal with. It's taken many years for me to get to this point where I can share such things. It's still difficult at times though.
Plus- I've never imagined myself to be a writer. Dave is the writer- he's an amazing writer- and knows just about everything there is to know about the English language. He's brilliant. He's the writer, just like my sister's the artist. I don't ever think I have what it takes to compete with them- since they are the experts.
I feel I'm a hack when it comes to writing. I just write the way I think.
My book will probably be criticized a lot for such amateur writing.
My hopes for my book, is that it helps some bipolars out there- that feel alone and that no one understands what they're going through. That not every bipolar- has a sad ending- and it's possible to have a happy and long life. Well that's my hopes- that's all.
Kisses Bitches- and always thanks for listening to my dumbass self:)

*old funny photo of Violet when she was less than a year old- too cute, right?

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