Wednesday, September 29, 2010

freak out moment

It hit me last night. As I was tossing and turning all night.
Dave actually thought I was having a seizure- Which I wasn't, thank goodness. I just couldn't sleep or get comfortable. I feel bad- I kind of kept him up last night, because I usually don't move around in my sleep.
He's sleeping now.
It hit me - with not one, but two doctors I'll be awaiting test results for cancer- skin and breast.
I told Dave- you know, if I find out I have both skin AND breast cancer I'm gonna lose my fucking mind.
Plus- losing my hair, Boobs AND needing new glasses.  Wow- that's quite a look, huh?!
Man, I'll be looking special fo'sho, fo'sho.
Right now I'm on hold to book my dermatology appointment, one that my dermatologist told me to do TEN YEARS AGO- because some things looked suspicious. And two other doctors recently told me "things didn't look right" Whatever the hell that means.
Hopefully I can get an appointment for next week. I have to go on Fridays because that's the only day she works in the clinic. Which means I'll be there for hours and hours! It's near Roosevelt hospital, it's a nice area. Maybe I'll sign in and then take a walk- because sitting in a crowded room for hours- with crazy people- yes that's who's waiting in the clinic- usually a bunch of crazy people- requires WAY too much patience. Patience I don't have at the moment.
Ah- just found out I have an appointment for the end of the month. Oh Joy.
I spoke to Dave and my mom about implants. Which I'm usually totally against. I hate hate hate fake boobs.
My mom said something I found really funny.
She said "You know, they can use the fat from you hips and ass to make you new boobs? That means there will finally be a use for them!"
Her and I, cracked up!!!
I'm the same girl that giggles at the word "fatty";)
Dave thinks I should not get them reconstructed and just leave the scar- which I'm a big fan of, since I LOVE scars- way better than fake boobs.
I would definitely be "unique" looking, ha-ha.
Though I've always wanted to not need a bra.
There's an inner hippie chick in me- but without all the armpit hair- eww gross;) I don't have problems with my fellow lesbians having them- I just don't like myself having them.
Anyways- way off topic here.
Ever since two days ago, having seen the doctor I haven't slept. I guess it's my nerves on overdrive, who knows, because I don't FEEL manic at the moment. But there's a lot going on in my mind right now.
These next two months are going be crazy!
I hope at the end of November when we are in our new place.
Everything will be settled and the way it should be.
Plus that gives me a reason for a housewarming party- HOLLA!
And I LOVE throwing parties!!

That's the news for now,
Kisses Bitches- Check your ta-tas Mamas!!!

In the end I hope I'm as happy and relaxed as the seal and trainer doing yoga on the sand. Freaking awesome pic dave found on the net!!!
We ALWAYS check out the website : the daily what?!
One of our favorite sites for funny and crazy pics/videos.

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