Friday, January 29, 2010

My heart

I've been feeling like shit lately but I'm fighting it the whole way through.
I've had heart problems here and there for years now- all starting with my eating disorders years back.
I have an irregular heart beat and I've been experiencing a lot of cheat pains as of late.
I've been chewing aspirin almost everyday.
I need to see my heart doctor. But right now I have no health insurance at the moment. I'm waiting patiently to get it back any second now.
And my old heart doctor doesn't take medicaid. So I have to find a new one. Plus with medicaid you need a referral for just about everything.
Last night was scary. I know I haven't been taking care of myself as well I should.
Things have been nuts with the kids and Violet's therapy that I rarely get a chance to eat or sit down.
Yesterday I was helping cook dinner and I was holding Lee in the baby carrier - which kills my back- but he wouldn't let me put him down.
When I was done helping prepare dinner- I put him down on the couch- and I got really dizzy. Kayla took Lee- no one got hurt. But I had chest pains- and it wasn't good.
So of course Dave told me to chew aspirin and I finally got to eat something.
I know I was careless. But I've been on sinus medication and I've been a bit unfocused because of it.
I'm so thankful to Violet's therapist Shannon. Because I've been so foggy lately- I was behind on scheduling tour visits for schools for Vi when she turns three.
Shannon got me to make all those calls and get on top of everything again.
She's a blessing, truly.
I'm so used to taking care of things and everyone that it feels horrible to be behind and not on top of things.
Dave helped me last night and took care of things for me.
I'm going to call my doc today to get a referral for a new heart doctor.
Hopefully my I will have insurance soon.
I didn't write this blog- to worry anyone- just wanted to update you guys on what's going on as per usual.

Love you all, wish me luck.

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