Sunday, January 24, 2010


I have an anxiety problem.
Tomorrow I have to go to SSI because they threatened to take it away again even though I've had it for only 5 months. Insane, I know.
The night before I have things I've got to do that I know will be stressful- I don't sleep. Even now- over a week till my daughter's hospital visit I worry and am extremely anxious.
I remember the time I spent in school- stressing out all the time over stupid tests.
Man, I HATED school ALWAYS. I would not want to go back ever.
I remember taking a test in fifth grade- a math test and leaning over to my friend- who thought she knew everything and maybe she did, and asked her for the answer to a question that was troubling me- what was the question you ask?- The question was what was 8 times 11?
Yeah- that simple. I freaked- she gave me the answer. And yes I cheated in fifth grade- sue me! I helped many friends in High school during their tests on much tougher questions- so it evens out.
Even thinking about getting my cosmetology license- and having to go to school and take tests again, gives me anxiety. And I LOVE hair. Styling, cutting, the products everything. I've done it for years but don't have a license. Besides cosmetology school costing an INSANE amount of money ($16,000)- that only 1/3 is covered by financial aid and loans. I worry about taking tests and my anxiety levels. I have enough stress in my life right now, daily. No need to add some tests into the picture.
I have a goal in mind right now- I set up many for myself all the time- small ones that I feel I can achieve. This one being to not cut or color my hair till September 2010.
That'll make it a year since I'd shaved my hair off ( Sept. 2009). Let's see if I can do it. Hopefully the anxiety of my hair looking like crap won't make me freak out and cut it all off again, just maybe.
I'll be posting monthly updates with photos on how I'm doing- besides my (almost) daily blogs.

This is a photo of what my hair looks like as of a week ago. Wish me luck.

Stay tuned...

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