Monday, January 11, 2010

Asking God for a Miracle...

I posted a blog a few days ago- and I deleted it recently.
It was about my ongoing battle with people to try to understand why my husband can't work- right now.
My daughter has a terrible sleeping disorder that she will be in the hospital for, to see what's causing it. Once my daughter starts sleeping- hopefully soon when they figure out what's wrong- he would be more than happy to find work.
We WANT and NEED money to come in. It's not a choice to be this poor. It's horrible.
When buying toiletries- like soap, tissues, deodorant- you know the very very basics-nothing luxurious- can't be bought. It's fucking rough.
I went to SSI today because the money they promised me never came. And I owe a lot of rent- besides every other bill.
I went there- and was shit on- I have to go back with yet even more documents.
Meanwhile I saw a woman in a HUGE FUR COAT with her pimp- or crackhead husband- being helped just fine.
So needless to say this day was not going too well at all.
Dave and I were talking about what we're going to do- we need to move- but with what money? We need a buyout- but who would buy us out? If we moved out of the city- my daughter would lose her services. But it'd be better to lose her services than be evicted from our house.
Then a small fire happened in the kitchen- don't worry we're okay.
It was a grease fire on top of the stove- I was able to put it out easily- but the smell has yet to leave even hours later.
As I'm cleaning my burnt stove- I thank God that it wasn't worse.
But I'm asking for a miracle- a real miracle- not money to get us barely through the month- but to get us out of this situation.
I tell you one thing- being in this situation for so long- makes me really want to help the homeless and clean up the shelters- so that they are a safe place for people who need to be there.
Everyone is so quick to save a dog, cat or animal, and that's great- I want to save them too- but what about the people- that are dying of neglect and poverty- not overseas- but in our own neighborhood-
Being so close to be homeless- puts things in perspective. I've had this perspective for a long time now. Different things drive me- than what drives others.
Most have never been near eviction, or didn't have any money for food.
They don't know what to say to me when I tell them my situation.
I usually get the "oh, don't worry everything's gonna be okay."
They say this just because they really don't want to think about it- they just want to put a loose band-aid on it- and make me feel better.
But it's crap. If I met someone in my position- I'd be different- If it was in my power to help even a little- I would. I wouldn't say everything's gonna be okay- I'd make it okay for them.
I choose helping people in need over a puppy.
Sorry puppies- you're cute and all- and loveable- but someone will most likely fall in love with you and adopt you- no one adopts a grown homeless man do they?

Asking for a miracle...

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