Sunday, December 20, 2009

Brittany Murphy...

I just found out Brittany Murphy passed away at age 32 today from a full cardiac arrest.
I was a fan of hers. She was funny, talented and a great entertainer.
There were "rumors" for years of her being anorexic- which I believe she was and I wish she would've gotten help for.
I understand the effects of anorexia all too well, having almost died from it repeatedly.
I have a bad heart because of my past eating disorders. Which by the way are never ever cured- they are maintained.
Just a month before I got pregnant with Levi- I was in an ambulance because I felt like I was having a heart attack.
Dave has been there with me through a lot of it- trying to help help break through the disorder and see that happiness is not all physical and shallow.
Eating disorders are shallow. There's always a bigger reason- the big one being CONTROL. Feeling your life is out of control- but you can control what goes into your mouth- and how much you weigh.
It's a sad disease and very lonely.
There's way more to life than your BMI or what size jeans you fit into.
Being obsessive in any way about your weight, your size clothes, how many hours you work out- all of it- is a sickness.
Now please don't spout that "But I'm taking care of myself" bullshit. "My body is a temple".
Because taking care of yourself- is more than exercise and low-fat foods.
It's what's going on inside you- your mind and soul. All this- all the outside- is forever changing and means nothing in the long run.
Your body is a case for your soul. It's your soul that needs tending to and love and care. It deserves real attention. Maybe if you paid more attention to your soul- than your size clothing- you'd be a more interesting person.
A person of REAL worth. Of real substance.
Anyways, it's just a thought.
R.I.P. Brittany Murphy- God Bless you and I hope you are at peace.

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