Thursday, April 1, 2010

Went to A heart doctor today...

But he wasn't THE doctor I was hoping he'd be.
He didn't even ask me my family history or which medications I'm taking.
You know when you have this funny feeling that the person you've met gets an idea of who you are- and what you're about the minute they meet you- and nothing can derail their thoughts???
Well this was that moment. I'm so ticked!!!
Medicaid doctors SUCK ASS! Man what I would give for some good insurance to go to some REAL doctors. REALLY good doctors that is. You know ones that ask questions and ACTUALLY check you out!
Dear God!!! What the fuck- and I waited an hour and a half to hear what??? BULLSHIT! that's what. Nothing- he said "he wished he could help me". Are you serious?!
I knew no matter what I said, he wouldn't change his mind. FUCK DOCTORS!!!
Sorry for the rant- but this is majorly frustrating.
I didn't let it ruin my whole day though. Afterwards I went to H&M on 5th avenue.
What a MAD HOUSE!!! Crying babies, and crazy scary skinny white women running amok- like the place was closing or something. And I went in the afternoon!
I hate crowds- I really do. And you wonder why I live in New York? Because I got no where else to go. That's why.
I got myself a cheap cute hat ( I'm a hat FREAK), and a Sergent Pepper jacket ( on sale). Oh yeah and a $1.50 pair of 80's style doorknockers. If you don't know what doorknockers are- you're missing out. My ghetto fabulous queens out there know what I'm talking about.
I've had several friends and family members mention that they think I should write a book.
Now I've been thinking about this for a very long time now. I don't write fiction- I only write about what I know- my life experiences.
Now in my blog- I'm tame. Seriously. I know it's hard to believe- but believe me it's TAME. Especially compared to all that I've experienced in life. If I were to finally decided to write my book, it's be juicy- very juicy. And that's why I haven't decided for sure that I'm going to write it. Because I know many people that would be upset about what I write. Not many family members want me to put everything out there. I'm afraid some family members and friends would never forgive me, maybe not even Dave. It's kind of a scary thought. I would not write this book to purposely hurt anyone but if I'm going to write a book- it's going to be the real deal- raw, naked and the whole truth- there's no point to me doing this halfway. I need to go all out.
I mean what sells right? Sex, drugs, addiction- the whole shabang. And my book would have all of that.
I know a lot of my family would be embarrassed and ashamed of the things I've done- I know my mom already is- but she deals with it. And I understand why. I'm her little girl no matter how old I get. So I don't blame her.
The book would definitely be called The Bipolar Bible- for sure.
So maybe I'll start it- little by little- there's so many stories running through my mind- it's hard to write them down quick enough. HELLO RACING THOUGHTS!!!!!!! BIPOLAR!
If I could finished this whole huge project- from start to finish- man, that'd be amazing.

Kisses my beautiful, sexy bitches!!!

1 comment:

  1. Is your doctor close to where you live? Is that important for you? If it isnt I really do recommend going to Callen Lorde in Chelsea. Its on 18th Street between 8th and 9th avenue. Most people that go there are on medicaid. If youre looking for doctors that are really caring and will help you out, I highly recommend them. My doctor is awesome. He loves to talk to his patients, its almost like gossiping with a friend who hears what you say and explains it for you. Jay goes there too and we both love the doctors weve seen there. If youre willing to trek out, I highly recommend checking them out.