Sunday, April 25, 2010
Operation Housewife: COMPLETED.
I've found out a lot of things this week, mainly about my apartment, I won't go into details, but I've known for years this place was killing us. It's just a bad place.
So I've been cleaning like a mad woman, this weekend. I'm going to be donating all old clothes, the kids clothes, toys, everything.
I always hated cleaning in the past.
Maybe because when growing up, my mother was a complete neat FREAK! Everything was spotless. My friends weren't allowed on my bed, in the living room, the toys had to be kept clean and tidy, the list goes on and on. She was obsessed, for sure.
So I hated cleaning. I thought you had to be crazy to enjoy it.
Turns out that might be true.
I have a lot running through my mind all day long, like an internal conversation, of things that need to get done, my feelings about such things, etc.
I used to be hot-tempered. REALLY REALLY hot-tempered. I threw stuff, smashed things, I was really damaging, not only to objects but also myself.
I changed that when I was pregnant with Violet. I knew I had to change for my baby. I didn't want her growing up seeing me react that way when I got upset.
And ever since then, I've really controlled myself and my emotions.
I was upset yesterday, while cleaning, not because I was cleaning, but because I felt like I was doing EVERYTHING, and not getting enough help day in and out.
So while mopping the kitchen, scrubbing and scrubbing, listening to my music blasting in my headphones, I felt like I was getting my anger out, in a positive way. No one was getting hurt, and at the end everything would be clean. That can't be bad right?
I think I've turned into those women who clean when they're angry. Weird, right?
I used to be this insanely ambitious person, usually manic, very career oriented, nothing could stop me. Now this person is still in me, but has been modified somewhat.
I'm now more family/community oriented. This is what drives me to better myself and things around me.
The things I want have changed, I now want a house ( or huge penthouse- that would do;) with a backyard/patio where I could have a garden to grow my own vegetables and herbs, a safe place for the kids to play and learn, neighbors I talk to and actually like, money to be able to pay bills with no worries, and my friends and family close by.
Before, I wanted world domination. Not joking, and if I continued being manic- I probably could have had it.
So yeah- maybe you do have to be crazy to enjoy cleaning. Good thing, I already am.
Kisses my clean, sexy bitches!!!