I feel the need to be a robot. Maybe then I'd be able to do everything with ease and all by myself.
I could definitely use a robot, maybe robot nanny???? Like Rosie from the Jetsons.
Because I don't want a nanny, a person to take care of my children FOR me. I just want more help in my daily activities. I feel like a secretary or a personal assistant to my family most of the time, instead of a mom, or wife or even me really.
I keep dates, phone numbers, addresses, appointments all in my head. I bought two white boards to place these things onto, but not to help me, but to help my family, even know what's going on from day to day.
I'm running on less than half a tank of gas, with several body parts hurting me, I'm emotionally numb most of the time, and mentally drained.
And there's all the things I want to do but feel like I never get a chance, like making a single with my boy, Marco. He's a music genius, and we always have a great time together. I want to go check out my friends performances, since they are all different types of artists.
But most of the time, I'm having internal conversations with myself all day and night long. Things I would like to be sharing with others, but no one seems to be listening or want to listen.
For a bipolar, this is a lot to handle. Actually I feel it's a lot to handle for anyone, even for a regular Joe.
Everyone looks to me for the answers. Who do I look to?? I don't know.
I guess I'm getting a bit depressed. Not a lot, just a little bit.
I'll do my best to shake off the feeling. Not that I'm allowed to be depressed. I'm not even allowed to be sick, and rest- so why would I possibly have the time, to be depressed.
Anywhoo- this is my news for now.