Wednesday, May 5, 2010
My head is spinning
It's been a very eventful few days. My sister came back from the hospital on Monday.
But with no answers, just guesses. I really can't stand doctors, well...most doctors.
They think it's neurological, then they think it's her heart. They can't make up their mind. She isn't doing any better, actually a bit worse. I'm so upset.
She went to get a sonogram of her heart today, they think they saw something, but we won't know til she sees the doctor.
I had this horrible feeling while she was in the hospital, I felt like she wouldn't be coming home, because I knew something was terribly wrong.
I can't shake this feeling. I hope the problem is so simple and easily corrected. I hope and pray.
Dave is trying to keep me calm, but it's not working. Plus when he's stressed, he sleeps even MORE than usual. So I'm even more stressed.
I want everything to be okay- actually I want everything to be great! Not just OKAY!
I want to know what's wrong with my sister. Why she went from being the most active person in my house, to someone who can't move! Otherwise he heart beats abnormally fast and she passes out. This is not good.
I want out of this toxic place I call home.
I want my family to be healthy, finally.
I really want doctors to get their shit together, and figure out what's wrong with my beloved sister.
I'm exhausted. REALLY exhausted. All night, I'm tossing and turning and having horrible dreams. Some are visions. But I don't feel like discussing them right now.
I'm praying every night. I hope God's listening. I could REALLY use his help right about now.
Peace and love to all of you. May you all experience an abundance of health, wealth, happy and love always.