Thursday, May 6, 2010

Bug bite???

Today didn't go so well. Levi had another evaluation today by early intervention, and they think he has some early warning signs of autism.
He's been banging his head against the crib repeatedly, lately. Just like Violet used to a long long time ago.
Never a dull moment, huh?
My sister is doing terribly, and they think they saw something on her we're worried of course.
Violet woke me up at 3 A.M. screaming and wanting to sleep with me. So I knew something was hurting her, it ended up being her stomach. The screaming went on until we gave her medicine. But it took awhile to work. So she didn't go to school today. Later on she seemed to be feeling a little better, so I thought Shannon and I could take her to the playground.
We went to the playground, and Violet was acting nuts!!! Not looking where she was going. And running really fast with no regard for her safety whatsoever. Which made Shannon and I really nervous.
Earlier in the day, before Violet had therapy, Dave and I were in the bedroom putting the kids down for a nap. He took this time to lecture me. Aw, what a great day.
He asked me if I was looking to "check out". Meaning kill myself, to which I was shocked, because that's probably the worst thing I could possibly do, since I don't trust anyone with my kids. So "checking out" early is NOT an option.
I know he's worried about me, and knows I am really truly stressed out, especially since we don't have a lawyer now.
Dave told me, I wasn't eating, to which I argued, and then he stated I'm eating just enough to survive, which I do agree with. But really it's because...well ever since my multiple hospital stays, I've learned NOT to eat when emotional. So I don't eat when stressed out, at least not a lot. Also I never eat things I don't like. I'm not offending anyone, because no one cooks for me. So if I'm not thrilled with what's available in the house, I simply don't eat. I know this is not always a good thing. If I had my way and the money, I'd go to order take-out or go out to restaurants all the time. I love different kinds of cuisine. Especially Latin.
Back to what I was talking about- today wasn't going so well. The lawyer we were talking to didn't help us the way we'd hoped for. So I got to keep looking.
While at the playground, I felt a pain in my arm, and to my surprise noticed a HUGE bruise!!! HUGE! It was on my forearm tattoo, almost as big as the whole thing!
And it hurt!
I have no idea where it came from. I don't know if it's an allergic reaction to a bug bite of some sort or what. I felt dizzy on and off today, really not feeling well and this damn sore throat won't go away.
DAMN! Man, I wanna catch a break so badly.
I'm trying to think positively, and like my boy Marco says, have faith in God.
I'm trying so hard to believe every thing's going to work out just fine. It just seems so difficult at the moment.

Anyways- here's a photo of my ummmm...bug bite???
CRAZY, right?!!!
Oh yes and to all you fellow fantasy geeks, yes my tattoo is from the movie The Dark Crystal. And yeah-IT DOES FREAKIN' ROCK!

Kisses Bitches!!!!
More to come...

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