DARN IT!

Tough times.
Money is dwindling. Our fridge and freezer is near empty.
Food stamps closed our case, because they do this to us, and everyone else, illegally for no fucking reason other than, they know most of us won't fight it because we don't know how.
They say always they sent a form for all of us to fill out- but they never did. And they know this.
It always happens to everyone around the same times of the year. It sucks!
Food Stamps SUCK! They know what they're doing is wrong. And it almost never happens to the people that don't need it, the one's that have money, but say they don't.
Which is definitely NOT the case of my family.
We're way behind on the rent, we have hardly any money for food. I'm trying to make sure I have money for diapers. We are overdrawn on our bank accounts. This SUCKS royally.
Thank GOD, I have family that orders us meat for our freezer once a month, it helps immensely, without that we'd be fucked, big time.
We ordered some food, making our accounts overdrawn because we had no choice.
I'm going to court on Thursday, hoping to get a big buyout from the landlord, instead of going back and forth to court all the time, and make all our problems disappear!
I don't know where we would move to, I'm looking at Brooklyn and even- gulp...New Jersey.
I have issues with Jersey, because there are many cancer clusters and their autism rates are sky high. But the living costs are really low, especially compared to the city.
I wish we could move someplace warm, like Florida, near Dave's family. But there are little to no jobs there. But that still is an option.
I have to find a place soon, hoping that the landlord gives us a decent buyout. We have enough of a case ( actually MORE than enough) against him, but he's not a good man, actually the opposite of a good man.
Things in the city are so expensive. I can't wait to move somewhere, that we could actually afford. I love my friends here, but I really don't have a choice to move far or not. If I won the lotto tomorrow, I'd be the happiest person alive. I would donate to numerous charities, and set up more shelters, better shelters for the homeless in the city. There are so many things I'd like to do, but need the money to do so.
My kids deserve better than this. I know I have family members that feel I should have never had children, because I couldn't afford to support them. But I learned this from my mom, if I waited till I could afford to have children, I wouldn't never had them. And I would never ever wish for Violet and Levi to not exist. Yeah we have a lot of money woes, but my kids are my life, without them, I'd probably not be here myself. So to those who feel I should of never had kids- I say, Fuck 'em.
A world without my children, is not a world I want to live in.
Besides, I've never played by the rules anyways.
I've always been a black sheep, so what makes now any different, huh?
Nothing, that's what.
I know there will be a time, in the (hopefully) near future, where money won't be the cause of my problems...I'm just awaited that time.
I hope it's closer than I realize, like how about, a week away?????
Please GOD! PLEASE!

I pray for a miracle, a huge miracle!!!

I wish for all of you, an abundance of health, wealth, happiness and love always.

God Bless.