Castings...

I have a casting tomorrow. No- it's no pay but it is a brilliant photographer and it is a music video.
This will be my first casting since before I was pregnant with Levi.
Castings and I don't go together. I have never gotten a job from a casting.
And boy do I have interesting stories of the castings I've been on. That's for sure.
So I'm kinda nervous. Well... really nervous.
Casting are basically cattle calls. They treat you like you're a cow. MOOOOO!
I've had directors that right away hate my guts. Yeah- that's always fun.
Or the total opposite- where I get a call back- I have everyone rolling on the floor laughing at how incredibly charming and funny I am... then never get the part.
When I go to castings I feel like I've been abused. Or more to the point- shot in the stomach.
It's a huge hit to the ego. Most people know me as pretty confident- because frankly I could give two shits about what you think of me- but at castings- that's what you're there for. For them to "pick" you or not. It's ALL about what THEY think of you. It makes me feel dirty. Yet- I love what I do. I just don't love ALL of it.
A lot of times I think about quitting modeling for good. No MAS!
But then some amazing job or opportunity sucks me back in.
It used to be my living. I live and breathed modeling. All I did 24/7 was network and get me out there. It was exhausting- and I loved every minute of it.
Now my life is a bit different. One- I've had TWO kids- one rather recently I might add. And I'm still in post-baby body. Which means- everything's not where you want it to be. And my babies are now my life. My family is my life. I take care of a family of seven people. Daily. Nightly. They are more important to me than myself.
So castings- I go when I can, if I can. Maybe even have a story to share with you guys and gals.
But modeling is no longer my life. Just an aspect of it.
My life is more worth while now- that's for sure.
So here I am typing about my casting tomorrow and now I'm not so nervous. Actually I'm pretty relieved and calm. Knowing no matter what happens tomorrow- it's not that big a deal. I get to come home to my lovely babies- and get a giggle or two out of them and maybe even a high five!

Talk to you this weekend- to let you know how it went.

Peace out my darlings!
Till next time- kisses bitches!