Monday, January 24, 2011
The Burning Bush
Since my last blog post-
Levi is now bald. I was cutting his hair with a pair of haircutting scissors...then decided to use the buzzer, because cutting my son's hair- AIN'T easy!
So...now he's bald.
Violet is sick with a fever of 102- and above.
Things are a wee bit hectic.
So hectic in fact...
that my sister's va-jay-jay was set on fire.
Let me explain.
Funny story actually.
She was on the toilet, when she lit a match...not smoking (she's a straight edger for now).
And dropped it in the toilet- while she was STILL on it!
She dropped it and heard a sizzle,..and made a spark (snap crackle and pop)!
She realized her bushido was on fire!
When she relayed the story to dave and I- we were dying and crying laughing so hard!
And then we came up with a thousand and one- comebacks...
These are gross BTW...but FUNNY!
1- Did you blow it out and make a wish??? (I wish for a scholarship to Art College! *pouf!*)
2- After the burning bush spoke to you...did you free the slaves in Egypt??
3- Hey, who wants Tempura?!
4- Did God then show you the Ten Commandments? ( my mom said this!!!)
5- Hey, smells like a Dominican hair salon in here! (BTW I LOVE ME some Dominican hair salons!!!)
6- Due to fire damage...the bakery is closed!
7- "It's like God said...Shave your CAT!" (my sister said this! That's how fucking cool she is, bitches!)
There were so many that followed... but that was last night...and we totally forgot them all.
After the blurry night that followed- both my kids didn't want to sleep! At all!!!! We are lucky we remember our names!
BTW- she gave me permission to share this story- because SHE IS THAT FUCKING AWESOME...and you're not! Unless you prove yourself to me!
P.S.- She's okay. My sister's lil fire crotch!
If you have any other good/hilarious comments to follow...please feel free to list them!