Thursday, October 21, 2010

Such a Weird Night!!!

Last night was CRAZY- and not in a good way.
Late in the evening yesterday- I had to run outside to Walgreen's to pick up a medication for my sister.
I had a bad feeling- but had no other choice but to go out.
I wanted Dave to come with me- but he was really tired, as usual, and had no pants- only shorts.
All his pants were in the laundry- I have A LOT of laundry to do- it's SO expensive.
I can't wait to have my own washer and dryer- but this is off topic-
I went outside by myself- I was extra paranoid- because of this bad feeling I had.
While I was in Walgreen's a strange older gentleman was watching me (and not actually shopping ), following me around the store- oh goodie.
I was going to take the stairs when I realized he was going to follow me there as well- so I ran into the elevator just before it closed! Phew!
And I made sure he didn't follow me home.
My bad feeling- was correct.
Thank goodness nothing happened.
I got home pissed off.
While I was outside I saw all these happy couples- holding hands- enjoying each other's company.
And it made me think about Dave and I-
How I have to BEG him to go places with me- even if it's outside for a few minutes.
Before I went to sleep- I got into bed and Dave asked me if I was okay.
I told him how I felt- how I wish he would want to do things with me and such.
We fell asleep.
I woke up to horrible horrible stomach pains and cramping.
I saw Dave was awake- he told me this "Don't be worried hunny, but I feel really weak and cold and lightheaded. I think I have to go to the hospital".
This was at 2 a.m.
I didn't have any bad feeling in my stomach- meaning I knew he was going to be okay.
I asked him if he had drank anything- he might be dehydrated.
He drank some water and went back to bed.
He wanted to hold me hand- that was different.
Then he said to me "Hunny, I want to apologize for all the times I fucked up".
Okay NOW I knew something was wrong- I replied "Do you think you're going to die???"
He said "Yes. But I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of leaving you alone- and missing you".
As he said this,he held my hand tight and was in a cold sweat. I could tell he was emotional.
I had to calm him down. I felt he was having a painc attack more than a real heart attack.
At that point- Levi started breathing strange. Short and fast breaths.
I immediately rushed over to him.
I think he was having a nightmare- he woke up crying and I soothed him back to sleep, telling him it was just a dream, everything's okay.
I crawled back into bed, with the heating pad on my stomach.
Dave asked me "Was that an omen?"
I replied "No. He just had a bad dream."
He then told me he was afraid to go to the doctor alone- I told him "No worries, I be there and I'll bring Levi, just try to breathe slowly- fill your stomach with air and blow out from your nose- to calm yourself down."
This is where my yoga training comes in handy ;)
He did this while holding my hand tightly- still in a cold sweat.
I prayed inside my head- "God please make my family feel better, please heal them."
I also told the spirit to leave us alone, to crossover to the other side, and that there are things WORSE than Death- and I have the power to do this. So he must leave.
A few hours later- Dave felt a bit better. Levi and Violet woke up at 6 a.m. and it was time to start the day- no matter how exhausted and in pain I was.

And that was my crazy crazy night.
I'm going to make an emergency doctor's appointment in a few minutes for Dave.
Wish us luck.

Kisses Bitches!!!

*photo found on the net- thought it was appropriate

1 comment:

  1. Dear Beans, Dave is exhibiting classic signs of obesity running its course. Although he is a young man in years, his body is in a state that makes him considerably older. And he knows and feels the end nearing. I'm sure you know this and it's not anything you want to hear and I'm gonna be the bad guy for saying it, but his death is imminent if nothing changes with his habits and you need to be prepared for it... mentally, emotionally, in every way. I'm sorry hun, everyone tries to protect us from the truth but what good does living in denial serve? At least accepting the truth gives us a chance to alter reality if we choose to.

    Brutal Honesty with Love