MOVING- the ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE!!! Part one

Hey guys and gals!!
I know it's been awhile-
but things have been madness!
If I wasn't in Brooklyn right now- as I told my family yesterday- I would've committed myself to an institution. No joke, I've done it before- well not really committed myself- more like OTHERS had me committed. But this time it would be voluntary!!!
Oh my goodness this week was one of the WORST ever!!!
Saturday was moving day for my kids, Dave and I.
Karen showed up in the morning with a u-haul truck.
And almost NOTHING WAS PACKED!!!
My parents had left their ENTIRE room and closets for ME to pack that fucking morning!!!
My mom has been suffering from depression for a long time now- but this past week, was one of her worst ever.
So nothing was getting done.
Dave and I only got about one hour worth of sleep before we got up and starting packing again and moving boxes and boxes of SHIT!
Plus- we weren't moving any furniture-
We hired Karen's cousin, son and his friend to help us move.
God bless them they were awesome!!!
The landlord (of my old building) KNEW we were moving Saturday- but apparently "forgot" to tell us moving wasn't allowed on weekends in our building (why??Only god knows at this point!)
So we were moving things- and then BAM!!
We were told we weren't allowed to use the front door- we would have to go out the service entrance- with very heavy boxes up and down creaky old metal stairs!!! YEAH, a nightmare!!!
My asshole corrupt super- I swear, is the son of the devil at this point- but way way way more stupid- shut down the elevator!!! Wait...get this...with Dave still inside!!!!
What a bitch?! Right?!
Dave then presses the fire alarm and Karen calls the cops- because at this point our stupid freaking asshole super is STOPPING us from MOVING!!! Totally ILLEGAL!!!!
The cops arrive and Karen and Dave are talking to them, then they talk to our super.
Dave tells me I should talk to the cops- why? I have no idea.
I see the cops talking to the super- and he's talking about pressing charges- against...ME!
The cops start talking to me, without the super there.
They automatically HATE my guts- again, why? I have no clue.
I started crying at this point because I was so stressed. Everyone was yelling at me, both my parents screaming at me on the phone- because apparently- whatever I was doing- packing the entire apartment- wasn't good enough. And my mom was MAD at me. All this craziness didn't make any type of sense whatsoever!
I was crazed at this point!
I start crying while telling the cops I have two autistic kids waiting for me to come to our new home in Brooklyn, they're with my mom, sister and father at our new place.
They start saying that if our super presses charges...for wait it...TRESPASSING!! In my OWN APARTMENT?!!!!
I would be arrested right then and there!!!
I was so confused!!!
This was madness!!!
At this point I didn't even care- I was going to be arrested!
The first call I would make is to the papers- saying- they were arresting a disabled person (me!), mother of TWO autistic kids- for....TRESPASSING in her OWN FUCKING APARTMENT!!!
Our super "decided" not to press charges and somehow I HAD TO PAY $50!! To the guy working the service elevator ( a really nice guy) because our super shut down the fucking ELEVATORS!!!
I fucking LOATHE this piece of shit guy!!!
Meanwhile he's a fucking criminal- and was "for some reason" in the office the previous night, at midnight with his wife "clearing out papers"...hummmmm sounds fishy right??? What a fucking crook.
After all that- I'm crying in my mom's room trying to finish packing, sobbing my brains out- my mom screaming at me- for almost being arrested.
This is how she deals with stress.
I couldn't take it at that point.
Thank god I have kids- because I would've fucking killed myself right there.
I'm bipolar-HELLO! I have my breaking point!
We had FINALLY gotten everything packed and filled the truck to the brim with boxes.
My dad had to come back to Manhattan to stay in our near empty apartment, so the super wouldn't change our locks! My parents weren't gonna get the check from the landlord until Monday morning and we wanted to make fucking sure they fucking got that fucking CHECK already!!!
I couldn't wait for this day to be over already!!!
We got stuck in traffic for a long while- and then arrived at our new place. PHEW!
Then we had to carry all the boxes up a flight of stairs yet again.
We were all dead at this point. Beyond dead- we were ZOMBIES!
Mom, Kayla, and the kids were happy to see me an I was so happy to see them.
Dave was in so much pain from all the heavy lifting.
Dave took a shower for the first time in our new home. The drain was clogged and all this grime and shit came up from the drain- EWWW!
This was the start to everything falling a part on us. This is officially the movie "The Money Pit!!!!"
Our window is broken, the washing machine wasn't installed correctly- so we had a flood yesterday from the washing machine, and so did the dentist's office underneath us.
All this wasn't our fault. Our new landlord hired very cheap construction workers, who didn't do a good job. So everything here is done half fast.
Man, I love this place- but I really want to own a home already so I never have to deal with a landlord ever again.
The grill that was left here- fell apart because apparently it was made over a million years ago.
Just fell into DUST!!!
Crazy, right?!
The shower head popped off in the middle of a shower last night hosing the bathroom down. Oy Vey!!!
The garbage guys screamed at me yesterday morning telling me, I was going to get a summons for all the garbage!
Everyone was biting my head off, including Dave.
We were fighting, I was just DONE! DONE with everything.
I was going to go food shopping for thanksgiving yesterday..until Dave lost the debit card!!! And we had to shut down the account. So thanksgiving was going to be cancelled!
I was beyond my breaking point- I was losing my fucking mind.
I hate crying and that's all I've been doing for almost 5 days already!!!
Thank God we were able to get a little out of the account- to at least buy some food today.
Karen's going to pick me up and we're going to get some food for tomorrow.

****I wrote all the above, this morning. So much has happened since then!****

-Dave thought he was dying (panic attack)
-The construction workers lied to our landlord telling him we're so many people living here- like 10 people!!
-I had a panic attack
-I was ready to kill myself

Just listing a few things that happened today- so my blog isn't 40 pages.

Much more to come...
Nervous fucking breakdown number 568 happened today! But who's keeping track, right?

Kisses Bitches!!!
Hoping everyone, including me, has a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!

lots of love and hugs to all!!!

Such a Weird Night!!!

Last night was CRAZY- and not in a good way.
Late in the evening yesterday- I had to run outside to Walgreen's to pick up a medication for my sister.
I had a bad feeling- but had no other choice but to go out.
I wanted Dave to come with me- but he was really tired, as usual, and had no pants- only shorts.
All his pants were in the laundry- I have A LOT of laundry to do- it's SO expensive.
I can't wait to have my own washer and dryer- but this is off topic-
I went outside by myself- I was extra paranoid- because of this bad feeling I had.
While I was in Walgreen's a strange older gentleman was watching me (and not actually shopping ), following me around the store- oh goodie.
I was going to take the stairs when I realized he was going to follow me there as well- so I ran into the elevator just before it closed! Phew!
And I made sure he didn't follow me home.
My bad feeling- was correct.
Thank goodness nothing happened.
I got home pissed off.
While I was outside I saw all these happy couples- holding hands- enjoying each other's company.
And it made me think about Dave and I-
How I have to BEG him to go places with me- even if it's outside for a few minutes.
Before I went to sleep- I got into bed and Dave asked me if I was okay.
I told him how I felt- how I wish he would want to do things with me and such.
We fell asleep.
I woke up to horrible horrible stomach pains and cramping.
I saw Dave was awake- he told me this "Don't be worried hunny, but I feel really weak and cold and lightheaded. I think I have to go to the hospital".
This was at 2 a.m.
I didn't have any bad feeling in my stomach- meaning I knew he was going to be okay.
I asked him if he had drank anything- he might be dehydrated.
He drank some water and went back to bed.
He wanted to hold me hand- that was different.
Then he said to me "Hunny, I want to apologize for all the times I fucked up".
Okay NOW I knew something was wrong- I replied "Do you think you're going to die???"
He said "Yes. But I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of leaving you alone- and missing you".
As he said this,he held my hand tight and was in a cold sweat. I could tell he was emotional.
I had to calm him down. I felt he was having a painc attack more than a real heart attack.
At that point- Levi started breathing strange. Short and fast breaths.
I immediately rushed over to him.
I think he was having a nightmare- he woke up crying and I soothed him back to sleep, telling him it was just a dream, everything's okay.
I crawled back into bed, with the heating pad on my stomach.
Dave asked me "Was that an omen?"
I replied "No. He just had a bad dream."
He then told me he was afraid to go to the doctor alone- I told him "No worries, I be there and I'll bring Levi, just try to breathe slowly- fill your stomach with air and blow out from your nose- to calm yourself down."
This is where my yoga training comes in handy ;)
He did this while holding my hand tightly- still in a cold sweat.
I prayed inside my head- "God please make my family feel better, please heal them."
I also told the spirit to leave us alone, to crossover to the other side, and that there are things WORSE than Death- and I have the power to do this. So he must leave.
A few hours later- Dave felt a bit better. Levi and Violet woke up at 6 a.m. and it was time to start the day- no matter how exhausted and in pain I was.

And that was my crazy crazy night.
I'm going to make an emergency doctor's appointment in a few minutes for Dave.
Wish us luck.

Kisses Bitches!!!

*photo found on the net- thought it was appropriate