Friday, October 8, 2010

Figured out something...

yesterday was really really shitty!
But it had it's moments.
I woke up early- after not really sleeping all night long- a daily occurrence sad to say.
Took a shower- which ended up being FREAKING COLD!
But I didn't let that get me in a bad mood just yet.
Levi had therapy in the morning.
I got dressed up- skirt, tights, button down shirt, brown fake leather "members only" jacket (don't hate!)and red cowboy boots- cuz that's how I roll.
I had gotten dressed up to go to the realty agents office- and meet them for the first time.
Turns out it wasn't very cold yesterday- kind warm.
Jacket was a BAD idea.
When I got to the skeazy building- I walked up a flight-
Saw what a shitty little freaking room this office was- and PACKED with agents, practically all sweating on top of each other.
The receptionist asked me if I was here for a job interview?
I took out my headphones- I thought I had misheard her. Nope- she thought I was there for a job.
I told her no, that I have an appointment with an agent to look for apartments.
She immediately told me to sign a contract!
Are you for REAL?!!!!
The contract was insane!!! I started sweating so badly- I don't know if it was just nerves, or my members only jacket or that it was insanely hot in that office- or everything put together.
I walked out. NOT signing a contract-
I learned a long time ago from modeling contracts it's REALLY easy to be fucked over.
I rushed home.
Then it was Violet's turn for therapy.
And I realized everything was going to change sooner rather than later- way before we even move.
We were going to lose all our kids' therapists- which have now become our good friends.
I felt like crying. Probably because the day wasn't going so well.
I've been calling my doctor for four days now- with no response.
Very frustrating.
Then I had to rush Violet to her sensory gym.
When we finally left the gym, I got a message from Dave asking me to pick up something WAY out of my way home.
I gave Violet while I was pushing her in the stroller- a blue sippy cup, a cracker and...a blue feather- she was content.
If you knew my daughter you'd understand why.
I got what Dave needed and headed on my way home finally- around six in the evening.
Violet was excited to be heading home so she was shaking her head and legs in the air on the way home-
shaking that blue feather proudly!
Yeah- My daughter is special- NO SURPRISE!
I laughed at people's reactions to her.
I got home, only to immediately have to cook dinner.
Dave and I got into an argument right before I had to cook dinner- not putting me in a good mood.
While everyone ate dinner- I had a sandwich- peanut butter and nutella- I didn't want the dinner after all.
Then headed for the shower again- I thought I could have maybe just maybe some minutes alone.
Thank goodness the hot water was back on!!!
I washed my hair- which is falling out at a greater pace-
And that's when I found it- another lump in my left breast.
I didn't even cry at this point- didn't shed one tear all day.
When I got out of the shower the kids were being put into their cribs and I had to figure out how to tell my family what I'd just found.
I had Dave feel it so that I knew I wasn't crazy.
He did- and was sad. Our argument had ended at that point.
I went into the living room to watch some T.V. with Dave, my sister and mom on the couch.
At the end of the show I finally told my mom-
she was upset.
I told her even though I'm very sad to lose all our therapists, I can't wait to get out of this toxic horrible apartment.
She agreed.

That was my day.

P.S. Sometime after 3a.m., both Dave and I were awake, and for some reason, he started whispering to me (see if you get it before I reach the end!): "I can't sleep at night. I toss and turn, listenin' for the telephone. But when I get your call, I'm all choked up. Can't believe you called my home. And as a matter of fact, it blows my mind you would even talk to me. Cuz a girl like you's like a dream come true. I'm livin' in ecstasy. No matter what your friends try to tell ya, we were meant to fall in love. And we will be together, any kinda weather. It's like that. It's like that!" He never got to say "every little step I take" because we were both cracking up by then. Bobby Brown.

Kisses Bitches! Every step I take MoFO!

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