Monday, October 25, 2010

Today Today Today


Me oh my! What a day I just had.
One of the longest days ever!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was put on a new birth control pill- to stop the horrible pain from the severe endometriosis they think I have (again).
And I really don't want surgery again- so I took the freaking pill.
I was not in pain all night long last night- a plus!
But I was up ALL night long!- NOT a plus!
The pill can cause insomnia- oh boy!
The kids woke up at 5 A.M. cracking each other up- how? I have no clue. But they were hysterically laughing.
I took them in the living room to eat breakfast- and took my thyroid medication- I was SO super hungry I could barely wait the hour I was supposed to- and let it absorb into my system.
I wanted FOOD and I wanted it NOW!
I made my coffee and bagel and cream cheese. Yummmmmm!
More than TWO hours of the kids running around like crazy!!! It was madness!
I finally put Violet on the school bus- then I had to do some laundry ( some not all- otherwise I would have been there all day long). During that time- the nasty rusty old pipes under my kitchen sink burst and I had a flood in the kitchen- all this before 10 a.m!
I was on the phone with several brokers looking for a new apartment around the same time I was mopping up the flood and watching Levi.
I have been getting headaches on and off all day, plus cramping, plus anxiety, plus pain in my joints.
I feel like a total wreck!
Dave and I were fighting all day long!
We both hadn't slept- and it was nuts!
We rent video games from gamefly every month.
A few days ago he discovered he really liked the game "the Darkness" (based off a comic done by the same people that did WitchBlade- if you don't know the comic WitchBlade- man I feel pity for you- because it was THAT awesome- in the beginning)
I have no problem him playing video games- I actually like watching- not playing as much. Only if I LOVE the game.
But I DO have a problem if I'm overwhelmed with watching my two crazy kids- one in destruction mode (Violet), and not feeling even remotely like myself.
I kept asking him PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE shut it off for now- until the kids are asleep.
Of course- he did what he wanted- this led to even more fighting.
I'm physically and mentally exhausted. I HATE fighting- I really do.
Being at each others throats- not fun at all.
I had planned on seeing several apartments today with my father- but I felt like a mess- plus Dave was falling asleep and I couldn't leave him alone with the kids. So I sent my mom and sister in my place.
They actually found a really beautiful place that they liked. They showed me video and photos of the place- I like it too. I think this may be the place.
I'd still be living in Manhattan- but more uptown- and on the east side.
Even though I WOULD LOVE to leave Manhattan and head to beautiful Brooklyn- we were having a hard time finding something affordable, big enough and easy to travel to the city from ( both my parents work in the city). Plus the stairs were really difficult for my mom to climb up- her arthritis in her knees is really bad.
I LOVE Brooklyn SO much- the food, the people, the scenery. I had the BEST burger and sweet potato fries I've ever had in my entire life at a diner in Brooklyn. Afterwards I picked up a dozen of the most wonderful donuts I've seen in such a long time in this little hole in the wall donut shop (usually I'm krispy Kreme's BITCH!!! I HATE Dunkin Donuts- EWWW!) They were fresh and so amazing. YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
My awesome friend Karen, took my parents and I around for a tour around the neighborhood. She has helped me so much in this crazy search for a new home. Thank you so much Karen- I owe you!
Even if I don't move to Brooklyn- I'm gonna visit almost every week!

On another note-I've been stuffing my face with sweet treats all day long. The cravings are so intense- I might hurt someone if they get in my way- kinda cravings.
I have never eaten so much sugar in one day before. And I haven't fell into a food coma yet!!! What the FUCK?! I LOVE food comas- it's just bliss- pure unconscious bliss- no freaking joke!
Man I really hope these cravings and all this pain wears off soon from the medication soon. I don't want to stop taking it yet- not until I know for sure- that these feeling won't go away.
Hopefully I won't gain like 40,000 lbs in a month. Oh god I hope not.

On top of everything that happened today- Violet was insane- she hadn't slept at all today - and barely slept last night. So she tries to keep herself awake by destroying things- and running around like a crazy woman.
I'm exhausted!
She FINALLY passed out a few minutes ago- as did Dave. PHEW!
Peace and Quiet- well...Levi isn't asleep just yet- but he's not noisy right now and I can tell he's getting sleepy.
I should be unconscious by now, right??! But no I'm wide awake!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

And that's where I'll leave this blog post.
With everyone thinking What the fuck?!
That's good right?

Kisses Bitches!!!
Woohooo Halloween is coming!!

P.S.- I sad to my mom "I'm gonna go to the bathroom right now, and go kill myself." ( I said partially joking). She replied "Okay dear, have a good time!"
That cracked me up!!! My mom's so crazy! I love her!

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