Friday, February 11, 2011
Piss n' shit!
I LOVE that phrase!
Thought I'd share a "Mom story" with you:
Last night- my daughter had a tummy ache- she ate too much cream cheese (she's addicted). She'd been pushing me away all day.
She's only affectionate- when SHE wants to be. She's the boss!
She wanted me to pick her up out of the crib. I was so excited!
When I held her she put her head on my shoulder. I was so touched and then...she pissed all over me.
So much- I was catching it with my hand- whatever wasn't stuck to my clothes.
Don't worry though, after some tummy medicine- she felt oodles better and even went to school today!
That's my daughter!
Besides that happening last night, I got a phone call around 8 p.m.
It was about the event recorder I'm supposed to wear for three weeks.
They told me my insurance (shitty form of medicaid) won't pay for it!
I was shocked!
I asked why? They said that medicaid finds event recorders to be "EXPERIMENTAL!!"
Are you shitting me?!!!
And if I wanted I could pay $1000. Did I mention that would be only for 14 days! Not three weeks!!!
I said "I'm on MEDICAID! If I had $1000 handy, I don't think I would be! You might as well ask for one million at this point- cuz you ain't gettin' it!"
Yeah- I kind of turn ghetto when I'm pissed- with the head rolling, finger pointing- you know the deal. I grew up with Trannies- of course I got a diva in me screaming to come out! (Being raised by trannies- is a whole other story in itself!)
This upset me a lot.
PLUS- the day before I was talking to my family counselor, and I mentioned that, ever since my heart problems have been getting really bad (about 3 months ago), I can't remember people's name or how to spell.
Every single thing I type (nearly) I have edited now, by either Dave or my sister.
This really upsets me because I used to have a photographic memory- that's how I got through school.
Back in the day- I would go to networking parties all the time and met people, only for a second or two- and if I saw that person a year or two later- I would remember their name, because if I didn't it would make me look bad.
I love love love my new friends- my mama group at Lee's school, but I feel it took me WAY too long to remember their names- even though I see them every day and love them all so much.
This really frustrates me- because this ISN'T ME!
The counselor asked me if I've mentioned this to my doctor- I told her no, I never talk to them long enough to mention EVERYTHING.
She then asked if I've ever heard of T.I.A. :
Some people call a transient ischemic attack (TIA) a mini-stroke, because the symptoms are like those of a stroke but do not last long. A TIA happens when blood flow to part of the brain is blocked or reduced, often by a blood clot. After a short time, blood flows again and the symptoms go away. With a stroke, the blood flow stays blocked, and the brain has permanent damage.
A TIA is a warning: It means you are likely to have a stroke in the future. Early treatment can help prevent a stroke.
This terrified me- I answered "Yes. I know what a T.I.A. is- my grandmother suffers from them. She suffers from Dementia now. But she had them when she was near 70 years old!"
She asked if I mentioned THIS to my doctor. I replied "No." Yet again.
Sometimes I don't realize how important some information is to share.
By the way- I scheduled an appointment for myself with a cardiac specialist at NYC for the beginning of March.
I'm a bit nervous- but I know it's necessary.
I feel all these doctors are "dropping the ball" so to speak.
It's infuriates me!
I had a nightmare last night- mostly due to taking Tylenol Pm (it always gives me strange dreams). I only take it maybe a few times a month.
Needless to say I'm not gonna take it anymore.
I dreamt that I found out I had a rare disorder that effects the brain ( I totally forgot the exact words the doctor used) and I found out I was going to die- and soon.
Dave then started cheating on me- with everyone (people I didn't know). I was so hurt and angry!
Just so you know- this is completely NOT like him. He's never been unfaithful to me EVER in all of our 13 years together ( even when we were broken up!)
He's always made it clear- I'm all he's ever wanted or will ever want.
He doesn't leave the house without me ever!
And he's never ever alone at home.
He's very trust worthy.
I'm the one that fucked up many times in the past.
I was so angry in the dream, I tried cheating on him- to get him back, but I physically couldn't.
I fought with him saying "I'm gonna die, and this is what you choose to do!"
He responded with "I only slept with them because they were powerful and rich!"
Somehow trying to make me feel better. So strange!
Yeah- so much drama! TOO MUCH for my taste.
When I woke up from the dream in the middle of the night, I was pissed at him. But I knew it was a dream- and it would be psychotic to punch him in the face, for a dream- right??!!
So I just went back to sleep angry.
This makes me laugh. It's INSANITY for sure!
I'll stop this blog post right here- with you thinking I'm insane.
Because I am insane- and I wouldn't have you thinking otherwise- EVER!
Now I must have my sister edit my blog.
I'm sure you've caught spelling/grammar errors before- blame that on my EDITORS!!! :) They're Lazy ;) Just kidding...or am I??
* insanity wolf meme. I LOOK UP to this wolf!