Thursday, June 17, 2010

First day

I spoke with my psychiatrist yesterday and we both decided it was time to try to get off one of my favorite medications of all time- Geodon.
As you all know, I've been very ill lately. I also have an irregular heartbeat- which might be worsening from long term use of Geodon.
Last night was the first night without any- in SEVEN years!!!! didn't go so well. I was paranoid all night long and had to take benadryl to calm my mind and get me to sleep.
I know it had to be done. I hope it helps my heart by being off this medication finally.
Don't worry- I'm not off all my medications- just Geodon.
I warned Dave beforehand- be prepared for ANYTHING! He's scared. I am a little bit too, but I feel this is the right time for me to get off it. On all my other medications- which aren't many anymore- it's all very very low dose. I found that when my medications were high, I went bat shit fucking nuts!
So yeah....only low dose from now on. I have an emergency doctor's appointment today in the evening because of how very ill I've been feeling.
Let's hope the doctor spends more than 15 minutes with me, rushing me out and not hearing a word I say.
Let's hope.
I'm tired and a wee bit OFF, today. I hope this gets better instead of worse.
I was stuck on the couch ALL freaking day yesterday. I felt so ill. I hate not being able to move- and do the things I need to do. I did push myself to make dinner last night so I could accomplish something yesterday and not feel completely useless.
Wish me luck at the doctor today.

Love you all!
And kisses to all my crazy bitches out there!!!

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