Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What's been happening??!

I've been so busy- with doctor appointments, phone calls, packing and my kids' therapies-
I don't know what day it is anymore! I haven't been sleeping well for what seems like forever now!
Last week Dave went to the doctor- and was told he's at high risk for a stroke- because of his high weight and blood pressure.
This makes me very nervous- and this morning he tells me that he's feeling dizzy and lightheaded and feeling a lot of pressure in his head every time he moves!
This scares the shit out of me!
He's going to the doctor again today- around 4 p.m.
I was supposed to go to the breast surgeon this morning- but then found out because he left the medical group I was a part of, a week ago and where I had all my testing done, he now has no access to my test results or medical records.
So there's NO POINT to see him today. Oh joy!
Looks like I have to find ALL new doctors for both my husband and I and our children.
This is such a pain in the butt!
But maybe this will lead to better care? Who knows? Maybe I find the doctor to ALL doctors- you know what I mean?
Since my kids and I, and now Dave are at the doctor every single week!
I'm worried about my husband's health, I'm nervous (and excited) about moving, how the kids are going to react to our new home- all these worries are why I'm not sleeping well at night.
Levi is finally going to have his psychological evaluation next Tuesday at home!
Woohoo! I've only been waiting for this for several months now!
Everyday he's banging his head and having meltdowns all day long-
I can't wait to finally have a diagnosis already- so that my son can get ALL the therapy he needs to get better.
It has helped my daughter so much- and continues to help her to this very day.
I'm not sure if Levi has the exact same type of autism my daughter has, but I'll find out soon.
And knowing this brings me some much needed peace of mind.
My family and I have also been furniture shopping- this is NOT as much fun as it sounds!
It's exhausting. If we were rich- I'm POSITIVE this would be a lot more fun!!!
We also went mattress shopping.
Dave had a lot of fun doing this. Every bed felt so foreign to me- and uncomfortable- so I let him pick out what he wanted. We had to get a new bed since he broke our current bed. We needed something DURABLE and comfortable.
We took our kids to Macy's holiday department- and they were so excited!!! They LOVE Santa and Christmas movies!
So this was so amazing to them. Levi couldn't believe his eyes! And Violet reached for every ornament known to man!
It was so much fun!
This would be the first holiday season in DECADES- that we wouldn't be totally broke!
My kids have never experienced a really GREAT holiday season- where we get to go shopping and do all holiday related outings.
Christmas has been so hard for us in the past- we couldn't get the kids any presents or decorate- we had no money- not even to pay the bills.
Every holiday season was so depressing.
I've spent a few in mental hospitals int he past. So I've never really looked forward to the holidays- until now.
This is the FIRST holiday season I'm actually looking forward to.
Our luck seems to be getting better- and I cant wait to see all the good things that's going to happen.
I see our lives changing for the better- Finally!!!!

All this aside, I have been feeling my mood going up and down throughout the day- I'm very easily irritated, I'll be depressed one minute- very happy the next.
This new birth control pill I'm on- I don't know if it's helping me or not.
I feel like a hot air balloon! Just totally blown-up.
I don't know if I should stop this medication or just wait it out.
My mom told me- many years ago, she gained nearly 100 pounds on birth control pills! ( yes this was over 35 years old- but still!) This scared the shit out of me!
While I was pregnant with Violet I gained 120 pounds!! Yes, I started at weighing only 80 pounds- but STILL! That's a lot of weight.
I'm petrified!
Dave seems to be happy though- he LOVES when my ass and boobs grow. He was SO happy when I was nearly 200 pounds, pregnant with Violet. He's nuts!!!! But I appreciate his insanity very much.
But I am very thankful, I'm with a man that appreciates curves ( the bigger the better!) and never ever tells me to lose weight.
I've been having nightmares- that I want to be an actress (which I don't), and am going on auditions only to be told I'm FAT and ugly.
Fun right?!

AND my mom is also having a biopsy and sonogram done (this week and next) to make sure she doesn't have ovarian cancer.

Do you think this is enough to be worried about???!

That's what been happening so far-
Again, I'm so sorry that I haven't been writing as much. My book, has been put on a temporary hold right now. Until I move and get settled- then I'll continue writing. Actually then- I'll be more than happy to write!

Kisses Bitches!!!

*photo found on google- I thought this crazy holiday cat photo was appropriate.

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