Miracle doctor

Me oh my!!!
After yesterday my faith in doctors was next to nil.
Today I went to a brand new doctor. I had also made an appointment for Dave at the same time, because he has a very bad sinus infection and was due for a check up anyway.
I LOVE her!!! She's brilliant, understanding, caring- you name it.
I knew the very second I stepped into the waiting room. I grabbed Dave's arm and whispered to him, "I'm going to love this doctor. I know this already."
I met two older women while filling out paper work. They were so nice and had nothing but good things to say about the doctor I was about to see.
The woman I was speaking to had THREE OPEN heart surgeries and we had SO much in common.
I told her, I hoped to see her again soon.
She replied- I most definitely will.
She was THAT nice.
All the nurses were so sweet and really professional.
I felt kind of at home there. And that's a good thing- because I basically LIVE in doctor's offices anyways.
The doctor gave Dave a full exam and an EKG, apparently besides being an internal medicine doctor- she specializes in cardiology!!!
My luck just looked up!!!
She also gave him an ultrasound of his heart- his very first one EVER!!! And he's turning 38 years old!!!
Man, we are SO different!! The first one I had was when I was 16 years old!!
His blood pressure was very high, as per usual.
The doctor told him she'll give him 3 months to lose weight, and change his diet and start exercising- otherwise he may need surgery because his weight could kill him.
I LOVE this doctor.
This isn't the first time a doctor has told him this- but I feel this was the first time he really listened.
She examined me and listened to EVERYTHING I had to say.
Really listened!!!
I cried in her office- because it touched me so much, after all I've been through with doctors my entire life, especially recently with the doctor that molested me.
I was in so much pain- everywhere. I could barely walk.
I had gained almost ten pounds in two weeks from SWELLING with water!
I was 125 lbs- two weeks ago, and now 135- and I have actually been eating healthier!
My legs are very swollen and very uncomfortable.
She gave me a breast exam- and told me right there, my breasts are very cystic and I will continue to have mammograms with her, every single year.
She is requesting all my information from "the bad doctor" I went to weeks ago.
She also suggested that I go to an endocrinologist, that she knows and recommends, for my thyroid. As well as an arthritis doctor, for the pain I'm in all the time- she suggests that I probably have Fibromyalgia!
THE FIRST DOCTOR TO EVER ADMIT THAT!!
After everything I've been through. Still most doctors believe the diagnosis is make-believe, this is of course because most doctors- don't READ, or believe that anyone could ever possibly REALLY be in that much pain all the fucking time.
Did I mention, I HATE most doctors?!!!
The nurse hooked me up- right then and there to a event monitor (also called Holter monitor) and have to stay connected to it for 24 hours.
I'm connected right now- as I type this.
I have to go back tomorrow morning- to get disconnected and get a fasting-lab. NO EATING- for 12 hours before the blood test. Dave will be getting a blood test as well.
She also suggests I may have an arrhythmia.
BTW- my blood pressure was 96/65.
I was sweating and feeling so sick while in her office.
I can't wait to feel better...hopefully SOON.

Let's hope she, or the other doctors I'll be seeing, find out what's wrong AND FAST!

I also have to go back the day before my 30th birthday for a stress test.
Yep- I'm turning 30 soon. I can't believe it!
Shouldn't I be turning 84 or something already???!!!


Kisses Bitches!!!
Thanks for all your prayers!

Make it FIERCE!

My old motto for a very long time was "Work it! Love it! Live it! Flaunt it!"
I definitely feel I haven't been living up to this in awhile.
My new motto- "I'm a model. I'm a mom. I'm a CUNT! I'm fabulous!"
If you knew me- you'd know this works well for me.
I've been extra stressed these past few days- and it's wearing on me.
As I was listening to my music, and of course do housework, dishes in this case, I realize no matter what is happening to me physically- I'm not giving up without a fucking fight!
Earlier today the handyman in my building came to my apartment to help me unclog my severely clogged bathtub drain. He worked so damn hard. And then said to me-"There's too much hair in the drain", to which I replied frankly "I'm very ill and losing my hair". At which point his whole attitude changed and he was SO nice and kind to me, which was a definite change from his usual attitude towards me.
After saying that I felt like crying- and I HATE crying- it shows weakness- and I can't stand it. So when I'm crying- it's because I can't hold it back any longer.
I teared a tiny bit- just enough for me to realize- this is really FUCKED UP.
And no loss of anything other than my family- will make me upset. Material items, nothing. So losing my hair- I'm not going to waste my time and energy- being distraught anymore.
As I write this- my hair is falling to my shoulders- yep it's THAT bad. And hopefully a doctor will find out what the flying fuck is happening to me- because this happened long before this stress started happening.
Dave offered earlier today, to shave my head for me, and his to make me feel better.
and I froze- because I wasn't ready. Whatever is happening- it's going to be on MY terms. I'm a fighter- so yes- hair oh lovely hair- I love you. I'm obsessed with you. But you ain't worth nothing to me no more. Fuck this shit!
If I'm gonna be bald- I'm gonna be a fierce bitch! Watch out.
I'll work it.

This blog I actually wrote two whole days ago-
I didn't want to publish this blog until I shaved my head.
Well shortly after writing this- my beloved buzzer broke! Dave was upset because he REALLY wanted to buzz my head.
Since then he's been trying to attack me with scissors- saying "I can totally do THIS! Don't you trust me?!"
To which I reply "NO!" Because the LAST time is shaved my head with a razor I was 8 months pregnant with Violet, and he cut my head up. I TOTALLY don't trust him with a blade.
Oh yeah and yesterday was a day from FUCKING hell. My sister passed out, hit her head and went by ambulance to the hospital. Don't worry she's okay and she's home safe and sound.
Both of us have been suffering from extremely low blood pressure. I will never get that image of her head hitting the wall out of my mind. I was super affectionate to her while waiting for the ambulance- and told her" See? I'm affectionate when it counts." She laughed. After all she's my baby, she's like a daughter to me. I've never been so scared.
Usually there's at least a few minutes between when someone says they're not feeling well- to the time they go limp. At least this happens in my case- thank goodness- enough time to take aspirin and lay the fuck down. Well this is NOT the case with my sister.
And after all this happened yesterday- Dave was still coming after me with scissors.
I better get a buzzer quick otherwise Dave will WIN. Meaning I will LOSE.

Kisses to my beautiful bitches!

BTW "Don't be offended by me calling you bitches. I call you bitches because I don't know all your names individually."- Katt Williams. AMEN!

Today's heart attack...

I have daily heart attacks- mostly due to my daughter- who has no consideration for her own well being and puts her life in danger several times daily.
This time is was my hubby.
We all went to the doc today. Violet, Levi, David and I are sick.
ARGH!!!! Anyone living with a big family will tell you- if one gets sick THEY ALL get sick.
PLUS- my husband's blood pressure is through the roof- and was told by the doc- he needs to make a will and a proxy RIGHT AWAY!
So I'm crying in the office holding Violet- who had just been sobbing a minute ago because the doctor was lightly touching her. Did I mention she's a drama queen????
The doc told me " You're a mom- you don't have time to cry". The doctor is a mom too-so she knows- we moms have NO time to be weak, vulnerable, tired or sick.
My husband and I are constantly tired because my two and a half year old daughter NEVER EVER sleeps. We are trying to help her in every way possible- to help her get on a sleep schedule- this not only affects her during the daytime and her functioning abilities- but ours as well. Energy drinks, coffee- any caffeine available.
It's bad. Thank goodness in this case that I have low blood pressure ALL the time- so the caffeine doesn't affect me the way it does my hubby.
I told him- he can't go anywhere- he's not allowed to die. He said "Okay, I won't." with a smile.
God help us!
kisses to you all!
Stay tuned....