Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Forget tomorrow, Today is where the madness lies

Yesterday was a nightmare, and today ain't looking too good either.
I spoke to a nurse yesterday, I had called the doctor earlier and a nurse called me back instead.
The nurse was one of the dumbest people I've ever spoken to before,
and that's saying A LOT!
A few clips from our ridiculous conversation:
She told me, "There's nothing the doctor can do about the size of my thyroid."

YEAH DUH! I realize he can't do magic! But how do we treat it?
"There's nothing we can do."
Uh seriously?! I called him because he TOLD ME TO CALL if I felt WORSE than before.  And surprise! I do!
Plus I have a few questions for him.
"Well, what are your symptoms?"
I feel out of breath, extremely tired and horrible pain in my joints.
"Have you felt this before?"
Yeah, I've suffered from thyroid problems for over tens years, YES I've experienced this BEFORE!
"Yeah, but have you experienced this before?"
Are you serious?! I just told you YES I HAVE!!
"Well your symptoms have nothing to do with your thyroid."

This went on forever. She's a fucking moron!
I was SO pissed off after the conversation. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then Dave had come home early, from taking Violet to the dentist.
I found out she tore the waiting room apart- literally!
Ripped their plants apart, ripped tags off the chairs, jumped off the couches, tantrumed and screamed her head off!!!
So much so that another older patient in a wheelchair was terrified of her, starting screaming trying to roll himself away from her!
Dave couldn't handle her anymore and postponed the appointment.

I was upset, obviously at the way Violet reacted and also that she never got to see the dentist.
I've taken Violet by myself to so many doctor appointments, back when we lived in Manhattan. And she was a tyrant then too! But I made sure the doctor got to see her.
And I did it all by myself.

So I was really agitated yesterday.
I finally got a call from my doctor- not the nurse. The very first thing I said to him was
"Never ever ever make me talk to that nurse ever again!"
He seemed confused, and he was in the middle of eating, he asked "why?"
I answered "because I felt like I was being cranked. She's an idiot and really pissed me off."
I gave him examples of our conversation. All he said was "Oh. Okay."
We had a long talk about my thyroid.
He said that even though my blood tests were negative. I have an auto-immune disease.
Which one, he's not sure of.
But it's extremely rare for a female my age, to have such a small, under active thyroid without some type of auto immune disease causing it.
It's also very rare that I should be feeling this horrible on such a high dose of thyroid medication.
I told him, "You don't know me yet, but I promise you, you will see that everything extremely rare- happens to me. I'm a medical oddity, and have been told this many many times by many many doctors."
I asked him, if it's still possible that I have Lupus since I have all the symptoms including hair loss. He said it is possible, even though the tests are negative.

Right now my hair is falling out again, by itself. Levi's grabby hands don't help the matter. Plus I've been bruising really easily. Abnormally easily.
But as I've come to realize, everything about me is abnormal.

The doctor also said that if he ups my medication, I will have a heart attack!
So I'm going in next week, 3 weeks early, for another blood test.
So that I can SHOW HIM PROOF, how low my thyroid is right now.
I mentioned that, we had talked about the possible heart damage my thyroid has caused.
I asked him to recommend a heart doctor, in the same hospital, that he will work together with on my case, since I do have heart problems.

More doctors appointments, more craziness to come.

I felt so stressed yesterday, my back was killing me.
I was about to have a nervous fucking breakdown!!!
Money problems AND health problems galore!!!
I just can't take much more!!!

Just thought I should vent about this before it was purposely erased from my memory.
Levi had fever last night, but I thought it broke because he woke up drenched in sweat!
Well I was wrong, this morning- he woke up yet again with a high fever and the left side of his neck is swollen like a baseball!

I've been calling the doctor, but her office isn't open yet.
So I guess back to the doctor, we go.
And I was really looking forward to going to Lee's school and seeing my mama clan!
I'm exhausted and it's only 9 A.M!!!!

Kisses Bitches!
PLEASE let blessings come my way! I desperately need them!

No comments:

Post a Comment