Did I mention I was nervous about today?
Yeah, I had reason to be.
I saw the endocrinologist today.
He's brilliant, by the way- no joke.
He actually knew what he was talking about- unlike many of the other doctors I'd seen. They only gave me five minutes- where he gave me at least a half hour.
He was kind, and really smart.
He told me, he HAD to sit down and talk to me after he saw my past blood tests results (over a year's worth).
He said several things-
1- being I have a very low thyroid despite the amount of thyroid meds I'm on.
2- I might have a very very very rare autoimmune disease that causes my body to attack my thyroid, amongst many other things.
3- my thyroid felt smaller than normal and "cobblestone" like.
4- since my thyroid has been low for so many years- he doesn't know the amount of damage my heart has taken, nor my bones. Leading to heart attacks and broken bones.
5- my white blood cell count has been high for several years now- meaning I have to have a sonogram done of my thyroid to rule out cancer.
6- I have several options right now- different medications to try (oh joy!) one being an animal thyroid hormone (NO JOKE!), he said people find it to be "organic" because it comes from an animal! "Are you serious?! You're gonna put BESSIE in me?? I call all cows and pigs, Bessie- don't ask me why. I just do, Okay?!
7- I might have my thyroid removed if, one- they find anything, or two- because no medication will help it.
He also ran a few blood tests- but he didn't expect "any surprises" and told me he'd call me in about 3 days.
On a side note- I don't know if any of you remember- in an older blog post of mine- I mentioned that I have prophetic dreams- always have, since I was a wee little child.
My dreams just come true QUICKER than they did when I was young.
It used to take sometimes years to come true. Now, not so much.
Of course, I do have nightmares from time to time- that are just random fears- or just plain old randomness. But I always know- ALWAYS KNOW- that ones I have to pay attention to- those are the ones that become true.
I really don't care if you believe anything I'm saying right now, or if you believe in psychic abilities- It's not my deal- if you don't believe.
I TRULY, with all my heart, don't give a shit.
I'm just saying what I know to be true.
Anyways- I mentioned about a dream I had, maybe in the fall, where there were three versions of myself- one present (I think?), soon-to-be future and further future. No past.
Now mind you I didn't remember this dream until recently.
And when I remembered it was kind of a shot to my stomach.
One of me- with long blond hair looking very happy.
One emaciated me (in the middle)- completely bald- looking very sickly
One of me- had dark hair short to med length, curly, looking "normal".
All sitting on a bench, on a pier by an unknown lake. looking directly at me.
Staring at me watching..all of them (who are me).
Confusing I know.
But it was like they were foreshadowing my own future.
Staring into my eyes- so that I KNOW.
I'm probably explaining this really badly. I haven't felt right most of the day.
I've been shaking- and the doctor noticed- he asked if I noticed, that I was shaking so much.
That was funny!
My heart stopped a couple of times on my way home, just its usual weird thing it does.
I felt like I was gonna pass out when I got home, I was severely dehyrated apparently.
I'm just guessing at this point.
And I have a migraine just growing- at this point.
But I had to type this blog and get it out there before I forgot any more than I already have, no doubt.
I found out my very very close friend, one of my mama clan, is in the hospital right now. I love her dearly- she is a great, amazing, funny, smart, beautiful person- and I ask that you all pray for her right now, that she gets better.
I love ya Tee! I'm gonna come visit you!!
As always- my only constant-
Kisses Bitches! I love you guys!!! Thanks always for all the support.