Disconnected from my reflection

I had a huge PBA (Pseuobulbar affect) moment followed by a seizure.
I know what you are thinking-

She is so fucing lucky!

I know, right?
Seizures,  PBA?! I'M LIVING THE FUCKING HIGH LIFE!

Yeah,  OK , back to "reality" or whatever people call it nowadays.

I went to wash my face and BAM!
that's when it happened.
I looked in the mirror-
And had absolutely no clue what or  who  this reflection was.

Let me repeat- None!  No clue whatsoever!
I freaked out.
I knew it was a mirror.
But that wasn't me.
It couldn't be!
Who the fuck was that?
What happened?
Is this a trick?
How was I replaced with this. .this. .THING? !

I started touching my short dark brown hair,  that I had last remembered being dreadlocks,  my body was so much bigger, I looked older,  I looked bland. Pale.
No color.
No animation

This thing was me? ????
Couldn't be!
Can't be! !
Where am I? !
I want to be me again!
This isn't funny! !!!
What happened?!
Why why why

I tried to explain this to my family,  but no one understood,  or still understands.
It happened yesterday, you see?
And everyone thinks this will just go away and fix itself.
But it won't

I can't stand my reflection.
Because it isn't me.
This caging . This casing is A MISTAKE.

And I can't fix me.

What a day!

The kids, my mom and I are all sick- like really sick.
Very yucky sick.
Cold, stuffed head, pain, fever- you get the idea. Dave took the kids out for a little bit- to pick stuff up from the supermarket.

I woke up- (after kinda, sorta napping- or blacking out from medication) to an empty house- well as empty as it gets- my mom and dad were still here.

Even though I felt like shit a dog threw up- truly!- I saw a chance to clean, vacuum and disinfect the house.

And that's what I did. The whole house.

When Dave got back the kids were very happy to be home. We thought Lee was doing a bit better and decided, stupidly, to take the kids out on our back patio to let them run around and get some energy out (and out of the house!).

I was recording them running around- and that's when it happened!
Levi tripped and fell FLAT on his FACE!!! FACE FIRST!!!

I was having a heart attack thinking he broke his face.

Luckily and by the grace of God, Levi was okay- but his face got badly scratched up- straight down the middle of his beautiful baby face!
Bright red blood.

At first he screamed of course- heck I wanted to scream in horror!
But only a few minutes later we took a photo- and he was laughing.

DEAR GOD these kids are gonna be the fucking death of me.

I love them with all my heart- but how many heart attacks can one woman survive, huh???

Did I ever mention how badly cold medication interacts with all my other medications??
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. It's bad.
But I had no choice. I fell just short of clawing off my own skin.

Me no likey....but sometimes me likey..huh...yeah me likey, me likey A LOT.


Kisses Bitches!!!

Scared Shitless!

Dave and I enjoy scaring our family members in the house. It's just plain fun and HILARIOUS!!

Our targets? Usually my mom, sister and father.

Nothing complicated- just jumping out of the dark and scaring the bejesus out of them, you know, the usual.

So today I saw my dad, lying down on the bed watching T.V. and falling asleep.

I saw this as my chance- I went up to his face and blew in it- nothing happened. I blew in it again and.. BAM! He screamed like a old woman and almost fell off the bed!

I was cracking the fuck up!!! I then asked him if he was okay "You're not gonna die or anything, are you?" I asked. He just rolled his eyes.

Then later on in the day- same thing. He was falling asleep yet again (he LOVES sleeping) while watching T.V. ( not very thrilling shows on T.V. I guess) so I debated in my head- should I? Shouldn't I?

I decided I MUST do this! So again, blew in his face the first time, nothing. The second time- BAM! He screamed again- Then yelled at me "STOP IT! You're killing me!!"

Probably one of the funniest things I've ever heard him say!

It's been a pretty slow day- but scaring him, TWICE- I must be MAGICAL!;)