Thursday, March 9, 2017

Disconnected from my reflection

I had a huge PBA (Pseuobulbar affect) moment followed by a seizure.
I know what you are thinking-

She is so fucing lucky!

I know, right?

Yeah,  OK , back to "reality" or whatever people call it nowadays.

I went to wash my face and BAM!
that's when it happened.
I looked in the mirror-
And had absolutely no clue what or  who  this reflection was.

Let me repeat- None!  No clue whatsoever!
I freaked out.
I knew it was a mirror.
But that wasn't me.
It couldn't be!
Who the fuck was that?
What happened?
Is this a trick?
How was I replaced with this. .this. .THING? !

I started touching my short dark brown hair,  that I had last remembered being dreadlocks,  my body was so much bigger, I looked older,  I looked bland. Pale.
No color.
No animation

This thing was me? ????
Couldn't be!
Can't be! !
Where am I? !
I want to be me again!
This isn't funny! !!!
What happened?!
Why why why

I tried to explain this to my family,  but no one understood,  or still understands.
It happened yesterday, you see?
And everyone thinks this will just go away and fix itself.
But it won't

I can't stand my reflection.
Because it isn't me.
This caging . This casing is A MISTAKE.

And I can't fix me.

No comments:

Post a Comment