I just got a call...from the grave.

Yeah! You are as surprised as I am. I didn't know they had cellphones in heaven...or hell, either!!
Let me explain-
It's my creep out moment of the day.

I was in the bath, when I notice my cellphone going off.
The name "Victor Hugo" was listed with no number- calling me.
I rejected the call because I reject any number I don't know.
Plus this wasn't a number, this was a name, of someone I have never met before.
My phone never shows the name, unless I have it listed as a contact of mine.

When I got out of the tub, I checked my phone, no voicemail, no nothing.
It wasn't even listed in my call log!!! It was like it never happened!
I look up the name, and come to find out Victor Hugo is a dead author.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Creepy right?

I told my mom what happened, and added "I had no idea the dead could make phone calls!"
"Maybe he was calling to tell me to finish my fucking book already!"
Who knows, right?

I know I'm always apologizing for not blogging enough lately, but I have very good reasons for that.
Number one reason- I am doing both night and day shifts with my kids. No naps, no breaks, no nothing.
Why, you ask?
Because David And I are having a trial separation right now.
He is living elsewhere right now. While I take care of the household, the doctors appointments, the shopping, and the kids.

A quick note- Dave and I have been having problems for years. I'm sure he won't agree with this statement. But I've felt this way for a long time.
I mentioned I was very unhappy. He asked if I wanted a divorce. I told him I didn't know.
He left the next day. That was his decision.

This is a difficult time for me right now. I feel every emotion at once.
I've known him for almost half my life. It's a big adjustment, for me and the kids, but I'm sure we will be okay.
I don't think they've noticed yet, but I worry for when they do.

I don't know what the next step will be, or what tomorrow will bring. I'm just taking one day at a time.

Kisses Bitches.
Thanks for listening to mah stories.

Nervous Breakdown here I come!

Don't worry this will be like number 500 for nervous breakdowns.
A lot is happening right now.
- both my kids might have a chronic disease, affecting their lungs and health for the rest of their lives- due to our old mold infested apartment.
- my mom's last day of work is at the end of the month.
- my dad's losing his mind- a little more every single day. Plus there's a chance he might have prostate cancer. We're waiting to hear the results from his doctor.
-I found out I have an auto-immune disease, which is probably Lupus.
(Sounds like a Dr. House joke, right? "It's not LUPUS!" But actually it seems it is).
My hair has started falling out again. And no, coloring it, didn't make a difference. This would've happened regardless. My scalp hurts so badly. And Dave keeps asking to buzz my hair off again. I think he's buzzer happy! Seriously! He just buzzed his own hair off, and now he's after mine.
Not that I have anything against buzzing my hair- I've gonna completely bald once every year for the past SEVEN years. There's noting I haven't done to my hair, or pretty much in my life, in general. Hahahahaha!
-Plus we have money woes a plenty.

Fun times, right?
My friend told me, this means blessings are coming our way.
I truly hope she's right.
I few days ago, I was spiraling, not able to see any light, or silver lining.
I'm still depressed, but I'm able to smile occasionally. Of course my kids always make me laugh.

This past weekend was misery.
Violet was so hyper and violent. Not a good combination at all.
Now she's sick with fever, and not really eating.
Lee had fever too, but he's eating a little.
I feel like crap and really really exhausted all the time, even though Dave's given me lots of time to rest.
It's frustrating. REALLY FRUSTRATING.

I'm actually happy, my mom is gonna stop working. Despite our money woes.
I know she'll finally be happy, and not miserable going to work anymore.
All I want is my family to be happy and healthy-
both things seem very hard to come by lately.

Plus I worry, I don't want to end up back at the food pantry and soup kitchens.
That was serious hardship, especially with my kids.
There's nothing more, you want as a parent, but to be able to have a roof over your kids' heads and food on the table to eat.
Both of which, I wasn't able to provide, not more than a year ago.
Our lives changed once we left that miserable, evil apartment.
I still have nightmares about our old place.
It was seriously like the movie 1408!
Did you know that a week after we left- there was a flood!!! Coming from my apartment!!! Even though NO ONE WAS THERE!
Yeah- totally fucking creepy.
I'm so glad we left.
I just don't want to go back to living that nightmare again.
I really don't like my neighborhood. The people in it are ignorant, homophobic and racist!
Yeah- a horrible combo!
Just really ignorant people.
I never thought I'd miss the egocentric manhattanites I was brought up with.
Even if a fabulous drag queen walked down the block, no one would even glance- or stare, or laugh.
Here- they hate anything even remotely different from them.
I can't seem to talk to anyone, even my neighbors.
They are all seriously messed up in the head.
I've heard lots of anti-Semitic things said by my neighbors, against Jews.
Did I ever mention, I AM JEWISH?
And my kids are Latin-Jews?
I don't want them growing up around so much hatred. This is where bullies come from, I'm sure of it.
And in Brooklyn, of all places??? I'm in fucking hicksville!!!
Plus, I'm bisexual. I was going to marry a women, a long time ago.
I'm sure that would've caused quite a stir in the shitty fucking neighborhood.
Yes, the houses are nice, and it's pretty residential, but the people make the neighborhood.
and they make it ugly.

Sorry, now I'm just ranting.
My point was- a lot is going on right now in my life.
I don't handle stress well at all.
I'm trying really hard though.

I promise I'm gonna write the blog I set out to a few days ago (about My Anti-cool revolution) but I just really wanted to update everyone on how things were going.

I love you guys and gals so much!!!!
Thank you always for being there for me!

As always,
Kisses Bitches!!!