Spock hair taught me a thing or two.

So..I did my sister's  hair many many many hours after my major seizure this morning and then did mine, almost on the verge of unconsciousness- which is totally the way I see myself going- with a set of clippers in my hands,  or gloves and haircolor😅 . So this is my new new look, for a hit minute.  I likey.

Sorry for being  MIA lately.  Been really ill  and then you know I get truly bored and push myself really hard to do something creative,  like coloring and cutting my family's hair and mine- also because I'm the only hairstylist in the family,  and I can't stand looking at bad hair.
Uggggh. Pet peeve.  And it always happens.  I'll be sitting in the doc's office with a family member and realize,  dammit ! I gotta get myself together,  and do their hair soon!
I AM that person. This is one of my crafts I've done since I was 12 and told my mom - STOP cutting my sister's hair!  Just stop!  She looks like Spock, for goodness sake!  You shaved of her damn sideburns! She's 3, and going into Pre-k, and looks like Spock! Enough is enough!  Put down the garden shears! You are a mom! Not a hairstylist! !!"
And that was the birth of my path.
Fucking Spock hair

Violet's Autism

Violet may never "recover" or communicate. I had to come to terms with this fact last night. That the life I had in mind for her may never exist.
She may be severely autistic forever- and never be able to communicate what she's feeling, thinking or wants and needs.
She may never become the stunt woman I thought she'd become or be able to function without any help.
It kinda hit me like a ton of bricks last night after seeing the neurologist earlier that day.
Dave and I were talking and it was a real eye opener for me.
Don't get me wrong I still have very high hopes for her, but I also needed to realize the reality of the situation.
My daughter might have tantrums everyday, scream her head off everyday, cry everyday, for the rest of her life. That COULD happen. The opposite could also happen- she could be a normal functioning person, who doesn't need any extra help to get through each day.
Either way I'm thankful to have her as my daughter. And although each day is so difficult and a struggle, I love her with all my heart and look forward to each laugh and smile of hers.
I'm also thankful to have my son, Levi. So that I can be assured even when my husband and I are not around for when Violet gets old, her brother will be there to help take care of her.

Just wanted to share what was on my mind.
Thanks for listening. Stay tuned for more.

The new Gluten free diet and my daughter

We started on December 6th. And yes, we made a few mistakes here and there.
But I'm starting to get the hang of it. At least at home- where the Internet is close by and I can check if something is gluten free or not.
I haven't even tried to be casein-free. I do want my daughter to be GFCF eventually.
But one thing at a time.
I came across this AMAZING site- called the GFCF lady. http://www.thegfcflady.com
It's the best gf ( gluten free) site I've ever seen.
First of all, she's brilliant, second- she's fabulous and third- did I say brilliant?
I'm loving this site. SERIOUSLY. Loving it! She's has videos of her son before and after the diet.
So it's been about two weeks- and already I SEE A HUGE difference in Violet.
The video of her son (before the diet)- is SO similar to my daughter. Screaming, running, spinning, yelling, walking on her toes, hands flapping, all of it.
And only TWO weeks into this diet ( that I've worked so hard on) she showed me that she needed her diaper changed by lifting her dress and patting her diaper!!! Then sat on the potty ( that she'd been taking a part and throwing around the house since I bought it months ago). And later on, she pretend played with a small stuffed toy chicken, we have, jumping up and down on her alphabet blocks!!!
For those of you with autistic kids, or who know of autistic kids- you know this is a HUGE deal. It's amazing- I feel like crying I'm so happy.
For the first time- I have seen, what I know, my daughter is capable of.
She's my girl, my princess- no matter how many tantrums she throws daily, nights she stays up screaming, food she ends up throwing, she is my perfect little girl.
And I can finally see that she understands me- and what I'm saying to her.
She's in there- I saw it today- and she's coming out.
This is a momentous day- December 18th, 2009. A day of miracles. Thanks to all her therapists- Molly, Shannon- you know who you are- we LOVE you and all that you do and have done for Violet.
She's listening and learning!!!
And the websites say that you can tell if the kids have a gluten addiction- because they find a way to get their gluten "fix". Some, I heard even eat dirt.
Well today I found my daughter licking a sticker!!! And then tried her brother's bottle- just to get her gluten "fix".
So here's the proof- all the proof I needed to know I'm doing the right thing- no matter how tough, strict or frustrating- it's WORKING.
And I'm a total believer now.
My daughter is worth the trouble- she's worth everything and more.