Bitching

That's what I've been doing all day.
Bitchin'.
Since 6 a.m.
I hardly got any sleep last night, Dave was snoring up a storm.
Levi woke me up this morning and then it was straight to cleaning. Oh fucking joy!
I tried to take a short nap in the morning since my mom and my sister were watching Lee.
Bad move on my part. Dave was right next to me taking turns between snoring and talking in his sleep about a fucking ice cream truck!
I was staring at the fucking ceiling, thinking "Are you fucking KIDDING ME?!"
I got up to get ready to go to Lee's school.
And yes it is a process, I put on make-up everyday, bathe, put together an outfit.
It's a thing. My thing. I don't take forever to get ready or anything, but I like feeling confident in my appearance everyday. That's the way I am.
I might be broke, but it doesn't mean I can't look put together.
Whatever- getting off topic, sorry.
So while I'm riding on Lee's bus to school I get a text from Dave saying
"Don't be alarmed, but my hand is swollen, I have a rash on my arm, I have a headache. I took benadryl."
JESUS!!!!
I wasn't worried. I have allergic reactions just about every fucking day, take meds- get through it. No biggie. Seriously!
He slept the WHOLE morning and then went right back to sleep after taking benadryl.
DAMMIT!
I wanted him to put together the charcoal grill we bought for the patio and put away the clean clothes, that I washed earlier.
I'm not asking a whole lot here.
So I get home, and find him passed out in bed. I wake him up "Hello! Remember me?! A therapist is coming. You wanna greet the world already?!"
He fell back to sleep.
Now I'm pissed.
I yell "Get up! Either you get up or you Don't!"
His response- "Do you mean you're gonna kill me?"
My response- "If I have to, so be it!"
I'm kidding of course. But I was ticked off.
"I have an allergic reaction every fucking day, you're not dead! I'm over it, can you get over it already???!!!!"

See, I never ever said I wasn't a bitch. I am a fantastic bitch. I'm so fucking talented and fucking gifted at being a bitch, it's fucking ridiculous!
I should make a school for fucking bitches to LEARN how to be a better, more efficient fucking BITCH!

Whoa. Ok, Got the point yet?!

Dave did eventually wake up.
Our conversation in the kitchen, while I'm cooking dinner-
"You are the only straight man I know, that can't cook steak! But you can make a killer flan! Are you fucking gay?!"
His answer "um, no. DUH!"

Later on, after dinner-
"I was telling the therapist I was bitching at you all day."
Dave then looked at me, and right then I knew he thought I was going to apologize.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Boy was he wrong!
"Oh yea, I'm just stating fact. Don't worry, I'm not actually apologizing."
He then said "Oh wow, because I was about to get all dizzy, woozy and that the world had gone wrong, but then you brought it back and made everything normal again."
He knows me.
I do apologize, when I'm wrong. But I'm not wrong today! So no fucking apologies!

That's my bitching for today bitches!!!!

Kisses Bitches!!!
Be proud you're a raging bitch! I AM!