Monday, November 16, 2009


I went to a new eye doctor two weeks ago. He was in the neighborhood- so figured I'd give him a try. It was a little dinky office, kind of run down. The doctor- was easily 80 years old and smelled like my grandma.
The first thing he asks me about is my tattoos. What are they? When did I get them? You know the usual questions I get asked. While he's testing my eyes- he starts holding and squeezing my hands and asks why I don't want to squeeze back? I was so nervous about f*cking up the eye exam and getting big freakin' coke bottles for glasses- I just laughed it off as silly old man. Then he kisses my hand and says I don't know why but I like doing this.
I'm having a hard time realizing he's hitting on me. A 80 year old eye doctor is hitting on me! He then puts my face in this thing that blows air into your eyes- kind of surprising but not horrible feeling- and says if I don't like the feeling I could kiss him.
I'm like WHA????!- in my head. Again just laughing nervously- not really wanting to hurt a horny old man's feelings. I mean he smelled like my grandma. I love my grandma!!!
Finally the exam is over and I talk for awhile to the woman helping me pick out my new glasses- which would take TWO weeks to be ready. My old glasses were a completely wrong prescription and I was told not to wear my old prescription ever again.
I have horrible eyesight in my left eye- which make my right eye over compensate- which leads to the worse migraines ever!
So long story short- I went to a dirty dirty doctor- who made me feel like taking a shower and cleaning off the dirtiness- waited two weeks with NO glasses- got my glasses today.
Everyone likes them so far except for Violet who tries to rip them off my face every chance she gets.

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