Tikkuns

For those of you who know me personally and have been keeping up to date with me, know that since my c-section I've been constantly sick as has my family and things have gotten worse again.
Man I thought I got all my tikkuns ( If you're a kabbalist you know what I'm talking about, they are kind of like obstacles you must get past to get to where you want to be in life). I have done a LOT of stuff in my life that I've paid for a million times over (that will be explained in later blog entries- my old wild bizarre painful scary exhilarating lifestyle) But THIS must be from a past life!!! I must have been such a bastard! No joke!
Those tikkuns were necessary for me to grow into the person that I am now. I'm proud to be who I am now. But these new tikkuns- I'm lost. This just seems like punishment.
And I feel like I'm not getting past them.
I pray and pray and pray that I'll get past them and become better- mentally, physically and emotionally- maybe I'll become superhuman?! Well I can always hope:)