Did I mention I was nervous about today?
Yeah, I had reason to be.
I saw the endocrinologist today.
He's brilliant, by the way- no joke.
He actually knew what he was talking about- unlike many of the other doctors I'd seen. They only gave me five minutes- where he gave me at least a half hour.
He was kind, and really smart.
He told me, he HAD to sit down and talk to me after he saw my past blood tests results (over a year's worth).
He said several things-
1- being I have a very low thyroid despite the amount of thyroid meds I'm on.
2- I might have a very very very rare autoimmune disease that causes my body to attack my thyroid, amongst many other things.
3- my thyroid felt smaller than normal and "cobblestone" like.
4- since my thyroid has been low for so many years- he doesn't know the amount of damage my heart has taken, nor my bones. Leading to heart attacks and broken bones.
Fun, huh?!
5- my white blood cell count has been high for several years now- meaning I have to have a sonogram done of my thyroid to rule out cancer.
6- I have several options right now- different medications to try (oh joy!) one being an animal thyroid hormone (NO JOKE!), he said people find it to be "organic" because it comes from an animal! "Are you serious?! You're gonna put BESSIE in me?? I call all cows and pigs, Bessie- don't ask me why. I just do, Okay?!
7- I might have my thyroid removed if, one- they find anything, or two- because no medication will help it.
He also ran a few blood tests- but he didn't expect "any surprises" and told me he'd call me in about 3 days.
On a side note- I don't know if any of you remember- in an older blog post of mine- I mentioned that I have prophetic dreams- always have, since I was a wee little child.
My dreams just come true QUICKER than they did when I was young.
It used to take sometimes years to come true. Now, not so much.
Of course, I do have nightmares from time to time- that are just random fears- or just plain old randomness. But I always know- ALWAYS KNOW- that ones I have to pay attention to- those are the ones that become true.
I really don't care if you believe anything I'm saying right now, or if you believe in psychic abilities- It's not my deal- if you don't believe.
I TRULY, with all my heart, don't give a shit.
I'm just saying what I know to be true.
Anyways- I mentioned about a dream I had, maybe in the fall, where there were three versions of myself- one present (I think?), soon-to-be future and further future. No past.
Now mind you I didn't remember this dream until recently.
And when I remembered it was kind of a shot to my stomach.
One of me- with long blond hair looking very happy.
One emaciated me (in the middle)- completely bald- looking very sickly
One of me- had dark hair short to med length, curly, looking "normal".
All sitting on a bench, on a pier by an unknown lake. looking directly at me.
Staring at me watching..all of them (who are me).
Confusing I know.
But it was like they were foreshadowing my own future.
Staring into my eyes- so that I KNOW.
I'm probably explaining this really badly. I haven't felt right most of the day.
I've been shaking- and the doctor noticed- he asked if I noticed, that I was shaking so much.
That was funny!
My heart stopped a couple of times on my way home, just its usual weird thing it does.
I felt like I was gonna pass out when I got home, I was severely dehyrated apparently.
I'm just guessing at this point.
And I have a migraine just growing- at this point.
But I had to type this blog and get it out there before I forgot any more than I already have, no doubt.
I found out my very very close friend, one of my mama clan, is in the hospital right now. I love her dearly- she is a great, amazing, funny, smart, beautiful person- and I ask that you all pray for her right now, that she gets better.
I love ya Tee! I'm gonna come visit you!!
As always- my only constant-
Kisses Bitches! I love you guys!!! Thanks always for all the support.
Showing posts with label hospital. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospital. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
A day in the ER
No, not for me. For my little girl.
Just to catch you up-
Violet went- before her current school- to another preschool for only 4 days (AMAC) before she came home with scratches and bruises up and down her arms ( restrain marks from an adult).
I called the school, the bus company, board of ed, filed a police report, it was a nightmare!
They couldn't tell me what happened- or who did it!
I checked her everywhere- luckily there weren't any other marks.
But she didn't want to be touched for three weeks and screamed and rampaged though the house.
No one- not the school, nor the bus company would tell me what happened- they blamed each other. It's very very unlikely it was the bus- because she was only on the bus for 20 minutes most of which she was sleeping.
I KNEW it was the school.
They made it impossible for me to talk to the teacher- the teacher was ignoring me!
It was a mess.
My daughter never returned to that school- no matter how much THEY BEGGED!
At first I was calling lawyers and advocates, but I didn't want to go to court, or sue- I just wanted ANSWERS!!! Not money.
Yes, I know I'm poor. But this isn't the way to make money- at least that's what I believe.
After all the investigations- one investigator told me "You may never know what happened".
That devastated me.
But he was right.
At that point, I had spoken to my CPSE official and finally got approved the para I wanted Vivi to have ALL ALONG!!!
Plus he found a great school, and was able to get her enrolled, even in October!
When I toured this school- I KNEW this was the one.
It was perfect!
It is still perfect!
Today I got a call from the nurse.
I've never ever had a good relationship with a school nurse before.
In Vivi's old school I got into a screaming match with the bitch of a nurse and at the end of our fight I ended up saying "You're STUPID!!!" ( I was so frustrated at her stupidity I became a child!)
And her response was priceless- and completely validated what I had just said.
"THANK YOU!"
And that's the very last thing we ever said to each other.
Yeah..so like I said- I got a call from ( Violet's present) school nurse
I was totally calm- I knew whatever she was to tell me- it would be Violet's doing, not someone else. I trust her para more than anything (She's honorary family!!!), and all the teachers and therapists there are the most caring and loving people I've ever dealt with in a school before, or almost anywhere, for that matter.
She told me that my daughter hurt her arm, while hugging her boyfriend (so super cute!!! This boy is such a sweety!!!) she tripped and fell on a mat (padded in the "snooze room"- a beautiful sensory room with lights and sounds and everything imaginable!). She started screaming in pain- holding her arm.
I was calm- I knew they were speaking the truth- after all, my daughter is a dare devil!
We call her the "Terminator!!!" She rarely ever feels pain. She's a robot assassin!
After all I've been through with the old school, it's such a relief to completely trust people that take care of my baby girl.
I had my mom pick her up from school, she works nearby, put her in a cab and brought her home very quickly.
When she got home- Dave and I immediately took her to the emergency room- the closest one to us- Beth Israel. Apparently they don't have a pediatrics department!
Surprise surprise!!!
Well, Violet started crying the minute we got there and didn't stop for about 2 hours.
She got x-rays done of both arms- so that they could compare- since her bones are so tiny.
Besides being a little girl, she takes after me, in that our bone structure is very very small- I know it's hard to believe- but it's true.
They couldn't see any obvious signs of a fracture and referred us to a specialist- a pediatric orthopedist.
The doctor was very nice and kind- Violet trusted her- and that says a LOT! My daughter can "read" a person QUICK! Whether they are good people or not.
And this doctor was.
She was the only child in the Entire hospital, and on top of that SHE'S AUTISTIC!
They had no idea what to do- except for the doctor treating her, she was an angel!
She even said if Vivi still won't use her left arm by Sunday that I should bring her back- FOR HER (the doctor that treated her) to see because she wants to make sure she's okay.
This was the first trip in awhile that it was just Vivi, her daddy and me and definitely the very first time without a stroller!
So even though the circumstances sucked, I was savoring every minute with Violet.
After the hospital discharged us- we went to the mall nearby our house.
We were all starving!!
On the way to McDonald's- I saw bootleg pillow pets- and was determined to buy her a new one.She seems to be collecting them- and sleeps with every single one of them- she uses them as her pillows, her mattress, and her blanket!!! So cushy!
We got her a wolf pillow pet(like I said- bootleg!) and named it "Wolfie" (after the character from the Disney t.v. show Special Agent Oso). She seemed to then LOVE, snuggle and kiss "Wolfie" over and over again.
I love that my daughter connects with stuffed animals so much- not every single stuffed animal- but a select few- I think she sees into their SOULS!!!
I love my baby girl!
She carried Wolfie with her right hand as daddy held her arm gently while she walked between us to McDonald's.
She sat in their highchair snuggling and giggling with Wolfie while she ate her chicken nuggets.
To me, this was one of the best moments- of course not the part about her being hurt- but the time we were given to just focus on my girl.
I decided from that point on, Violet will get alone time with us, as will Levi.
I'm also going to buy finger paints and such for the times in the day, on the weekends when Levi is napping and she's wide awake.
While we walked toward the exit of the mall- all these people were telling me how beautiful Violet was.
This was truly extraordinary!!
No matter how beautiful I think she is, people in the streets, while we lived in Manhattan, never ever complimented Violet. Ever! Levi- it happened all the time. But something about Violet bugged people- because she would be flapping her hands- or yelling bizarre sounds- and it would unnerve the fuckers!
Meanwhile it was normal- even sweet to me.
That's my baby. She'll never be normal- but I'm glad about that and wouldn't have her any other way!!!
*P.S. I got my blood tests results- the doctor said she'd never in her entire LIFE seen thyroid test results like this (my TH and T3 are way below, way way below what they should be, and my T4 is through the fucking roof)!
See! She didn't believe me when I told her- but now- she's a true believer!!! For sure!!!
Now she believes me when I tell her, like I did today that I'm super swollen and uncomfortable.
NOW SHE BELIEVES! FINALLY!!
Kisses Bitches!!!!
Where's the morphine when ya need it, ya know?!
Just to catch you up-
Violet went- before her current school- to another preschool for only 4 days (AMAC) before she came home with scratches and bruises up and down her arms ( restrain marks from an adult).
I called the school, the bus company, board of ed, filed a police report, it was a nightmare!
They couldn't tell me what happened- or who did it!
I checked her everywhere- luckily there weren't any other marks.
But she didn't want to be touched for three weeks and screamed and rampaged though the house.
No one- not the school, nor the bus company would tell me what happened- they blamed each other. It's very very unlikely it was the bus- because she was only on the bus for 20 minutes most of which she was sleeping.
I KNEW it was the school.
They made it impossible for me to talk to the teacher- the teacher was ignoring me!
It was a mess.
My daughter never returned to that school- no matter how much THEY BEGGED!
At first I was calling lawyers and advocates, but I didn't want to go to court, or sue- I just wanted ANSWERS!!! Not money.
Yes, I know I'm poor. But this isn't the way to make money- at least that's what I believe.
After all the investigations- one investigator told me "You may never know what happened".
That devastated me.
But he was right.
At that point, I had spoken to my CPSE official and finally got approved the para I wanted Vivi to have ALL ALONG!!!
Plus he found a great school, and was able to get her enrolled, even in October!
When I toured this school- I KNEW this was the one.
It was perfect!
It is still perfect!
Today I got a call from the nurse.
I've never ever had a good relationship with a school nurse before.
In Vivi's old school I got into a screaming match with the bitch of a nurse and at the end of our fight I ended up saying "You're STUPID!!!" ( I was so frustrated at her stupidity I became a child!)
And her response was priceless- and completely validated what I had just said.
"THANK YOU!"
And that's the very last thing we ever said to each other.
Yeah..so like I said- I got a call from ( Violet's present) school nurse
I was totally calm- I knew whatever she was to tell me- it would be Violet's doing, not someone else. I trust her para more than anything (She's honorary family!!!), and all the teachers and therapists there are the most caring and loving people I've ever dealt with in a school before, or almost anywhere, for that matter.
She told me that my daughter hurt her arm, while hugging her boyfriend (so super cute!!! This boy is such a sweety!!!) she tripped and fell on a mat (padded in the "snooze room"- a beautiful sensory room with lights and sounds and everything imaginable!). She started screaming in pain- holding her arm.
I was calm- I knew they were speaking the truth- after all, my daughter is a dare devil!
We call her the "Terminator!!!" She rarely ever feels pain. She's a robot assassin!
After all I've been through with the old school, it's such a relief to completely trust people that take care of my baby girl.
I had my mom pick her up from school, she works nearby, put her in a cab and brought her home very quickly.
When she got home- Dave and I immediately took her to the emergency room- the closest one to us- Beth Israel. Apparently they don't have a pediatrics department!
Surprise surprise!!!
Well, Violet started crying the minute we got there and didn't stop for about 2 hours.
She got x-rays done of both arms- so that they could compare- since her bones are so tiny.
Besides being a little girl, she takes after me, in that our bone structure is very very small- I know it's hard to believe- but it's true.
They couldn't see any obvious signs of a fracture and referred us to a specialist- a pediatric orthopedist.
The doctor was very nice and kind- Violet trusted her- and that says a LOT! My daughter can "read" a person QUICK! Whether they are good people or not.
And this doctor was.
She was the only child in the Entire hospital, and on top of that SHE'S AUTISTIC!
They had no idea what to do- except for the doctor treating her, she was an angel!
She even said if Vivi still won't use her left arm by Sunday that I should bring her back- FOR HER (the doctor that treated her) to see because she wants to make sure she's okay.
This was the first trip in awhile that it was just Vivi, her daddy and me and definitely the very first time without a stroller!
So even though the circumstances sucked, I was savoring every minute with Violet.
After the hospital discharged us- we went to the mall nearby our house.
We were all starving!!
On the way to McDonald's- I saw bootleg pillow pets- and was determined to buy her a new one.She seems to be collecting them- and sleeps with every single one of them- she uses them as her pillows, her mattress, and her blanket!!! So cushy!
We got her a wolf pillow pet(like I said- bootleg!) and named it "Wolfie" (after the character from the Disney t.v. show Special Agent Oso). She seemed to then LOVE, snuggle and kiss "Wolfie" over and over again.
I love that my daughter connects with stuffed animals so much- not every single stuffed animal- but a select few- I think she sees into their SOULS!!!
I love my baby girl!
She carried Wolfie with her right hand as daddy held her arm gently while she walked between us to McDonald's.
She sat in their highchair snuggling and giggling with Wolfie while she ate her chicken nuggets.
To me, this was one of the best moments- of course not the part about her being hurt- but the time we were given to just focus on my girl.
I decided from that point on, Violet will get alone time with us, as will Levi.
I'm also going to buy finger paints and such for the times in the day, on the weekends when Levi is napping and she's wide awake.
While we walked toward the exit of the mall- all these people were telling me how beautiful Violet was.
This was truly extraordinary!!
No matter how beautiful I think she is, people in the streets, while we lived in Manhattan, never ever complimented Violet. Ever! Levi- it happened all the time. But something about Violet bugged people- because she would be flapping her hands- or yelling bizarre sounds- and it would unnerve the fuckers!
Meanwhile it was normal- even sweet to me.
That's my baby. She'll never be normal- but I'm glad about that and wouldn't have her any other way!!!
*P.S. I got my blood tests results- the doctor said she'd never in her entire LIFE seen thyroid test results like this (my TH and T3 are way below, way way below what they should be, and my T4 is through the fucking roof)!
See! She didn't believe me when I told her- but now- she's a true believer!!! For sure!!!
Now she believes me when I tell her, like I did today that I'm super swollen and uncomfortable.
NOW SHE BELIEVES! FINALLY!!
Kisses Bitches!!!!
Where's the morphine when ya need it, ya know?!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
New Doctor...new start?
I've been having a really shitty couple of days.
The night, before last, I was up all night with chest pain- intense chest pains- pain that went into my back I couldn't move, couldn't think, because I was in SO much pain.
And yet, still didn't let Dave call 911.
I really thought I might just fucking die that night.
And still I would rather be in my own fucking bed than in a hospital.
Call me psycho- I don't care- I've been called WAY worse.
Luckily I'm still FUCKING HERE, Bitches!
If you know me, you know that I don't fear pain. EVER.
I don't feel pain like normal people.
I've had my insides OPEN for months! After my C-section with Violet. I had gauze stuffed into me every single day for three months.
Now that's fucking pain.
It was like being stabbed, every fucking damn day for months.
Fun times. Fun times.
Then again, this is coming from me, the same person who, when I was younger- would run into doorknobs with my FACE, just for the fuck of it. I didn't feel pain.
I see how strange this is now, that I'm older- not much wiser though.
I always felt- "alien" to say the least.
I have an appointment with brand new doctors- plural- today.
I'm just hoping they don't stick me in the hospital-especially since there's supposed to be a big snow storm tonight- weekends, bad weather are both the WORST time to be stuck in a hospital.
Another worry- that they don't listen to me.
They see how young I am and think I have to be making this shit up.
Even though it's documented.
This one REALLY pisses me off.
Especially once they hear I'm bipolar.
Then they just think I'm crazy!
I don't fear surgery, even though I DO fear hospitals.
I'm not scared of getting cut up, sliced, whatever you call it.
It's the fact that in the hospital- you can get sick with something else and way more severe. Like a horrible blood infection that tries to kill you not once, but twice.
Yeah...fun times...fun times.
I hope you realize I'm sarcastic...very very sarcastic. It's the center of my very being.
I just found out that people who have had open heart surgery- are called part of "The Zipper Club" because they have the most amazing, coolest scar ever, going down their chest.
I do have a "thing" for scars, if you could call it that.
I love scars. I do.
Now I'm waiting til I go to my appointment.
If they listen to me- that's a good sign.
If they dismiss me right way...very very bad sign. Very bad.
Who knows? Maybe they'll actually find out what's wrong...and FIX IT!
Be it through surgery and/or medication, I don't care- I just want to feel myself again- not tired all the time, not out of breath, not in pain.
I don't fear medication- meds are my friends :)
I guess I have high hopes.
Plus this whole experience is making me feel very depressed.
Totally- NOT FUCKING COOL!
Very quick-
I had a very strange dream- thanks to benadryl- that I was weighing myself and I weighed 250 lbs! I freaked...and then realize I had weighed myself with all this luggage. And when I weighed myself again without the luggage I weighed...87 lbs!
I'm guessing this dream means I have a lot of extra baggage-
And I'm not talking about my big ass!
hummm...like I needed a dream to fucking tell me that?!
Hahahahaha!!!!
Wish me luck!
Kisses Bitches!!!
Sorry this blog is all over the place- but that's what my mind is like- CHAOS! COMPLETE CHAOS!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Shit Shit Fuck Fuck!!!!
She wasn't doing well and had a very bad infection in both her feet.
We were all very surprised, and upset, obviously.
I found out today the antibiotics are working and she's getting better
Best news I've heard all day!!!
As far as I'm concerned she is my ONLY grandma.
She's been suffering from dementia for over tens year and does not remember me anymore.
I just want my grandma to be in peace- no pain, no confusion anymore.
She is a great person and she deserves to be happy.
I haven't been feeling very well for the past few days- but wasn't making a big deal of it- until last night.
My legs and feet were in so much fucking unbelievable pain and I couldn't breathe.
For about a week now- my heart stops- yes stops- for about 5 or so seconds-without a warning- I cannot breathe or speak.
But I am conscious through the whole thing.
I found out yesterday from a friend who's a doctor, she has experienced the same exact thing many times.
I also must mention that she has had open heart surgery in the past.
And suggested it might be electrical.
I was so happy to hear I wasn't JUST crazy!!!
And that this is real, not a fucking panic attack.
I have an irregular heartbeat, plus a really bad thyroid problem.
So I'm experiencing 17 different symptoms at once.
I feel they are all connected but not one doctor has put it all together.
My blood pressure was so low this morning I couldn't move.
And yes- everyone around me was ready to call 911.
But if you know me-
you also know that I've almost died in the hospital before- and got sick FROM the hospital- a severe blood infection that did almost end me- permanently.
So unless my spleen falls out in the next two minutes, I won't go to the hospital.
I feel a tiny bit better than this morning, my blood pressure isn't AS low as before.
But it's going up and down all day and driving me insane.
I slept for three hours during the day- which I DON'T do usually.
I couldn't function today.
If things don't get better soon, I will have no choice but to go to the hospital.
My mom is at a hospital in the city right now, not leaving many people here to watch my two kids- it's a 24/7 job with no sleep! Not EASY!
Wish my grandma and I luck.
God bless all of you,
and of course...
Kisses Bitches!
*photo of my grandma- almost ten years ago
Thursday, April 22, 2010
One of the worst days ever, like for sure.
I woke up exhausted, as per usual. But I literally forced myself out of bed today. I knew Violet was going to have picture day in school today, and I wanted her to look perfect.
The minute I entered the living room, I saw Kayla not looking so well. She said "My blood pressure's going up and down". I ran to her and before I could catch her, her passed out and fell face first to the floor. I freaked!
She took longer this time to wake up. I feel that she was having a seizure. But I one point I thought she stopped breathing! Her whole face lost all color. Her lips were white! I was so scared, I thought for a split second my sister was dead. I yelled to Dave, who was worried to but then saw her take a very shallow breath. We were both relieved. My heart cannot handle things like this. I felt horrible horrible pain in my legs and arms,wile I was holding her in my arms on the floor, and felt like I was going to vomit and pass out at the same time! I imagined my sister and I being wheeled to the emergency room, and I told myself "Get it together!!!!". Dave gave me and my sister a glucose tablet and some water, which made both of us feel a little bit better.
Kayla came to, finally after a good 5 minutes!
Four cops and two EMTS, showed up to our apartment, asking where the four year old that passed out was? We were all so confused and told them my sister was almost twenty years old, not four! To which they seemed relieved.
It caused quite a commotion in the building. Everybody's definitely talking about us now, for sure. My sister was then taken by ambulance to the hospital.
After this all happened, I still had to get Violet dressed and ready for picture day. BTW When the cops were here, all she did was stare at their walkie-talkies. SHE FUCKING wanted it so badly.
So she was pretty calm through the whole thing, Levi not so much, he was screaming.
I got Violet dressed and got her on her school bus. This whole time, I still felt like passing out.
Dave and I stayed up with Levi, who was going nuts the entire morning. After I got Violet off the bus, she went straight into therapy. Dave at that point was really exhausted, and was snapping at me and really really pissed. He looked like he was gonna kill me, so he decided to go to bed, so he would've totally snap. And from there, I had to take her to her sensory gym, that's about 10 blocks away. She was falling asleep, and her therapist and I were trying to keep her awake, because SHE LOVES her time in the sensory gym, it's awesome!
When we got there, we woke up her, she was screaming, then I had to take her drink away, because no drinks or food is allowed at the gym, which lead to Violet having a total meltdown, then it starts storming outside. I had no umbrella, no cash, no nothing! And she was still screaming! I had to stay with her during her therapy, and run after her repeatedly.
When we were about to leave, the sun came out, thank goodness!!! And I practically ran, pushing Violet in the stroller home.
I got home, and just broke down crying. Thinking about my sister being dead... Kayla can never leave me, she's my baby, I don't know what I'd do without her.
I was literally having a panic attack all day long. ALL DAY.
This has been a bad fucking day. I'm so fucking tired, emotionally and physically.
Kayla will be going to a neurologist very shortly.
We're all watching her like a hawk, she's never going to be alone. It's too scary.
So yeah, this day was one of the worst ever, like for sure.
Kisses bitches!
Hopefully some good news will come soon.
Pray for us.
The minute I entered the living room, I saw Kayla not looking so well. She said "My blood pressure's going up and down". I ran to her and before I could catch her, her passed out and fell face first to the floor. I freaked!
She took longer this time to wake up. I feel that she was having a seizure. But I one point I thought she stopped breathing! Her whole face lost all color. Her lips were white! I was so scared, I thought for a split second my sister was dead. I yelled to Dave, who was worried to but then saw her take a very shallow breath. We were both relieved. My heart cannot handle things like this. I felt horrible horrible pain in my legs and arms,wile I was holding her in my arms on the floor, and felt like I was going to vomit and pass out at the same time! I imagined my sister and I being wheeled to the emergency room, and I told myself "Get it together!!!!". Dave gave me and my sister a glucose tablet and some water, which made both of us feel a little bit better.
Kayla came to, finally after a good 5 minutes!
Four cops and two EMTS, showed up to our apartment, asking where the four year old that passed out was? We were all so confused and told them my sister was almost twenty years old, not four! To which they seemed relieved.
It caused quite a commotion in the building. Everybody's definitely talking about us now, for sure. My sister was then taken by ambulance to the hospital.
After this all happened, I still had to get Violet dressed and ready for picture day. BTW When the cops were here, all she did was stare at their walkie-talkies. SHE FUCKING wanted it so badly.
So she was pretty calm through the whole thing, Levi not so much, he was screaming.
I got Violet dressed and got her on her school bus. This whole time, I still felt like passing out.
Dave and I stayed up with Levi, who was going nuts the entire morning. After I got Violet off the bus, she went straight into therapy. Dave at that point was really exhausted, and was snapping at me and really really pissed. He looked like he was gonna kill me, so he decided to go to bed, so he would've totally snap. And from there, I had to take her to her sensory gym, that's about 10 blocks away. She was falling asleep, and her therapist and I were trying to keep her awake, because SHE LOVES her time in the sensory gym, it's awesome!
When we got there, we woke up her, she was screaming, then I had to take her drink away, because no drinks or food is allowed at the gym, which lead to Violet having a total meltdown, then it starts storming outside. I had no umbrella, no cash, no nothing! And she was still screaming! I had to stay with her during her therapy, and run after her repeatedly.
When we were about to leave, the sun came out, thank goodness!!! And I practically ran, pushing Violet in the stroller home.
I got home, and just broke down crying. Thinking about my sister being dead... Kayla can never leave me, she's my baby, I don't know what I'd do without her.
I was literally having a panic attack all day long. ALL DAY.
This has been a bad fucking day. I'm so fucking tired, emotionally and physically.
Kayla will be going to a neurologist very shortly.
We're all watching her like a hawk, she's never going to be alone. It's too scary.
So yeah, this day was one of the worst ever, like for sure.
Kisses bitches!
Hopefully some good news will come soon.
Pray for us.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Violet's hospital stay
Dave and I stayed overnight in the hospital last night with our daughter Violet.
It was probably one of the longest day/night's ever.
Thank goodness Shannon was there with us when we got there. She keep Violet busy with games and toys.
Then it came time to "hook" Violet up. This was to test if Violet was having any seizures that were keeping her from sleeping.
26 wires were hooked up to Violet. During that time Shannon and I worked hard to keep her occupied. I brought a portable DVD player with me that I borrowed from my aunt, but the battery died 5 minutes into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (her fave show of all time). So Shannon and I sang, counted, did everything we could think of. Dave was getting Violet something to drink, and couldn't be let into he room, because then it would disrupt the process.
Violet cried and cried. In the end her head was wrapped tightly, then all the wires were wrapped, which connected to a heavy small bag that she had to carry like a messenger bag, which then attached to a wall monitor. She was under video surveillance the entire stay.
After the crying she eventually calmed down, especially when she saw the playroom.
I thought- wow, it's not that bad. But then I found out the playroom closed at 6 P.M!!! Which is nowhere near the time she goes to sleep. And it didn't open until 10 A.M! Dave and I were jumping trying to entertain her for 14 hours in a very tiny room!!!! She slept better there than at home, she still woke up every 5 minutes but she did go back to sleep until about 5 A.M. We were exhausted, mentally and physically. I had not been feeling well for days now, and Dave was still sick with a sinus infection- so we were not up to par at all.
The rest of the day we spent chasing her because she wanted to run all over the pediatric neurology unit.
The doctor eventually came and told us, she's not having seizures, but they need to do more testing. Probably an MRI, eventually and she had her blood taken twice for genetic testing, to make sure her autism won't get worse.
I told the doctor my kids and I are always sick, we get sick every month. To which, FINALLY, a doctor said "That's not normal. We have to find out what's wrong."
Thank GOD! So both my children and I, hopefully soon will be having more tests done. And hopefully get some FUCKING answers.
Violet is a warrior, she is amazing. Everyone loved her there. Thank you to all the wonderful nurses that helped us during our stay. Thank you to Shannon and my awesome social worker, and honorary family member, Michelle, for coming, showing support and helping us through this difficult times. We loved you both so much.
*photo of my princess and her lovey, Gorilla.
Peace, love and baby bottles,
Till next time.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Make it FIERCE!
My old motto for a very long time was "Work it! Love it! Live it! Flaunt it!"
I definitely feel I haven't been living up to this in awhile.
My new motto- "I'm a model. I'm a mom. I'm a CUNT! I'm fabulous!"
If you knew me- you'd know this works well for me.
I've been extra stressed these past few days- and it's wearing on me.
As I was listening to my music, and of course do housework, dishes in this case, I realize no matter what is happening to me physically- I'm not giving up without a fucking fight!
Earlier today the handyman in my building came to my apartment to help me unclog my severely clogged bathtub drain. He worked so damn hard. And then said to me-"There's too much hair in the drain", to which I replied frankly "I'm very ill and losing my hair". At which point his whole attitude changed and he was SO nice and kind to me, which was a definite change from his usual attitude towards me.
After saying that I felt like crying- and I HATE crying- it shows weakness- and I can't stand it. So when I'm crying- it's because I can't hold it back any longer.
I teared a tiny bit- just enough for me to realize- this is really FUCKED UP.
And no loss of anything other than my family- will make me upset. Material items, nothing. So losing my hair- I'm not going to waste my time and energy- being distraught anymore.
As I write this- my hair is falling to my shoulders- yep it's THAT bad. And hopefully a doctor will find out what the flying fuck is happening to me- because this happened long before this stress started happening.
Dave offered earlier today, to shave my head for me, and his to make me feel better.
and I froze- because I wasn't ready. Whatever is happening- it's going to be on MY terms. I'm a fighter- so yes- hair oh lovely hair- I love you. I'm obsessed with you. But you ain't worth nothing to me no more. Fuck this shit!
If I'm gonna be bald- I'm gonna be a fierce bitch! Watch out.
I'll work it.
This blog I actually wrote two whole days ago-
I didn't want to publish this blog until I shaved my head.
Well shortly after writing this- my beloved buzzer broke! Dave was upset because he REALLY wanted to buzz my head.
Since then he's been trying to attack me with scissors- saying "I can totally do THIS! Don't you trust me?!"
To which I reply "NO!" Because the LAST time is shaved my head with a razor I was 8 months pregnant with Violet, and he cut my head up. I TOTALLY don't trust him with a blade.
Oh yeah and yesterday was a day from FUCKING hell. My sister passed out, hit her head and went by ambulance to the hospital. Don't worry she's okay and she's home safe and sound.
Both of us have been suffering from extremely low blood pressure. I will never get that image of her head hitting the wall out of my mind. I was super affectionate to her while waiting for the ambulance- and told her" See? I'm affectionate when it counts." She laughed. After all she's my baby, she's like a daughter to me. I've never been so scared.
Usually there's at least a few minutes between when someone says they're not feeling well- to the time they go limp. At least this happens in my case- thank goodness- enough time to take aspirin and lay the fuck down. Well this is NOT the case with my sister.
And after all this happened yesterday- Dave was still coming after me with scissors.
I better get a buzzer quick otherwise Dave will WIN. Meaning I will LOSE.
Kisses to my beautiful bitches!
BTW "Don't be offended by me calling you bitches. I call you bitches because I don't know all your names individually."- Katt Williams. AMEN!
I definitely feel I haven't been living up to this in awhile.
My new motto- "I'm a model. I'm a mom. I'm a CUNT! I'm fabulous!"
If you knew me- you'd know this works well for me.
I've been extra stressed these past few days- and it's wearing on me.
As I was listening to my music, and of course do housework, dishes in this case, I realize no matter what is happening to me physically- I'm not giving up without a fucking fight!
Earlier today the handyman in my building came to my apartment to help me unclog my severely clogged bathtub drain. He worked so damn hard. And then said to me-"There's too much hair in the drain", to which I replied frankly "I'm very ill and losing my hair". At which point his whole attitude changed and he was SO nice and kind to me, which was a definite change from his usual attitude towards me.
After saying that I felt like crying- and I HATE crying- it shows weakness- and I can't stand it. So when I'm crying- it's because I can't hold it back any longer.
I teared a tiny bit- just enough for me to realize- this is really FUCKED UP.
And no loss of anything other than my family- will make me upset. Material items, nothing. So losing my hair- I'm not going to waste my time and energy- being distraught anymore.
As I write this- my hair is falling to my shoulders- yep it's THAT bad. And hopefully a doctor will find out what the flying fuck is happening to me- because this happened long before this stress started happening.
Dave offered earlier today, to shave my head for me, and his to make me feel better.
and I froze- because I wasn't ready. Whatever is happening- it's going to be on MY terms. I'm a fighter- so yes- hair oh lovely hair- I love you. I'm obsessed with you. But you ain't worth nothing to me no more. Fuck this shit!
If I'm gonna be bald- I'm gonna be a fierce bitch! Watch out.
I'll work it.
This blog I actually wrote two whole days ago-
I didn't want to publish this blog until I shaved my head.
Well shortly after writing this- my beloved buzzer broke! Dave was upset because he REALLY wanted to buzz my head.
Since then he's been trying to attack me with scissors- saying "I can totally do THIS! Don't you trust me?!"
To which I reply "NO!" Because the LAST time is shaved my head with a razor I was 8 months pregnant with Violet, and he cut my head up. I TOTALLY don't trust him with a blade.
Oh yeah and yesterday was a day from FUCKING hell. My sister passed out, hit her head and went by ambulance to the hospital. Don't worry she's okay and she's home safe and sound.
Both of us have been suffering from extremely low blood pressure. I will never get that image of her head hitting the wall out of my mind. I was super affectionate to her while waiting for the ambulance- and told her" See? I'm affectionate when it counts." She laughed. After all she's my baby, she's like a daughter to me. I've never been so scared.
Usually there's at least a few minutes between when someone says they're not feeling well- to the time they go limp. At least this happens in my case- thank goodness- enough time to take aspirin and lay the fuck down. Well this is NOT the case with my sister.
And after all this happened yesterday- Dave was still coming after me with scissors.
I better get a buzzer quick otherwise Dave will WIN. Meaning I will LOSE.
Kisses to my beautiful bitches!
BTW "Don't be offended by me calling you bitches. I call you bitches because I don't know all your names individually."- Katt Williams. AMEN!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
My Pre-Birthday Blog
At 5:59 AM tomorrow morning, I will be turning 29 years old. And I'm feeling depressed. Not because I'm getting older- but instead because I get depressed around my birthday just about every year.
I'm fine with getting older- actually I feel fifty-something- not twenty-something.
I've had a LONG life, thus far. And have experienced many things most twenty-something's haven't. I'm not talking kids and marriage either.
By the time I was 25 I had been hospitalized several times- for being manic, for being suicidal, for being severely crippled from multiple eating disorders.
I spent New Years Eve 2003, inside an institution. I will at some point talk about my time in those institutions and the people I met- but now doesn't seem like the time.
I used to have many bipolar friends- I tend to attract them like a magnet. I think Bipolars attract other bipolars- it's probably a law of attraction kinda thing.
I made two very close friends in two separate hospital stays. One, Julia- became my blood sister- also bipolar and had multiple eating disorders. I loved her very much- I even gave her my teddy bear named bunny (yes I used to name stuffed animals- opposite of what they were- it's funnier that way). She had a very abusive boyfriend-who made me very nervous. I stayed in touch with her months after, he had tried to kill her. After she left him I didn't hear from her. I'm assuming she's dead at this point. Being bipolar and in an abusive relationship- don't end well. period.
My other friend, Mike was my best bud during my first hospital stay. Again like me he was bipolars- most patients in institutions are bipolar- as well as other things.
Mike left the hospital before I did- even though he tried to prolong his stay to make me happy. We caused serious chaos in the hospital with the other patients there. It was fun fucking with other crazy patients' minds. One patient, we made believe we did magic. Yeah- that's a whole other story all together.
Mike would constantly be in hospitals- he went from one to the other. He was even BANNED from other hospitals. He would sell his prescriptions instead of taking them.
And then end up seriously depressed and suicidal. Bipolars for the most part- make REALLY bad decisions. REALLY BAD. I haven't heard from Mike in many years. I assume the worst.
One of the main reasons I'm not still friends with my old bipolar buddies- is because they made horrible decisions- and weren't self-aware. Many became strippers- of all kinds. Most bipolars- almost all- are sex addicts, shopaholics,drug addicts, alcoholics.
Every time I went into an institution they tried to make me go to rehab. I argued this because I was addicted to such things only when I was manic. I can go months- even years without a drink. It's not a thing for me now.
I've seen a lot and done a lot in my life so far. It makes me feel like I've been around more years than I actually have.
I didn't go to my ten year H.S. reunion because I feel I have nothing in common with them, I didn't then and I especially don't now.
This is probably why I find it so hard to connect with people. I feel most times like I'm from another planet.
So here I am- turning only 29 years old.
Yesterday sucked, today was horrible and tomorrow ain't looking too hot either.
I'm trying to look forward to seeing my friends on Friday. Going to my favorite chill spot, White Rabbit. But I'm nervous- what if they don't have a good time? What if there's silence? I'm a very anxious person. I worry if my friends will have fun or not. And yes I will be drinking. Before Friday I had some drinks three months ago and before that, one and half years. I proved most doctors wrong. I didn't need rehab like they suggested, and I'm not dead yet.
I went shopping tonight looking for a real slutty-whorish shirt and some high heels to wear for Friday. So for one night I don't feel I look like an exhausted mom of two. But I didn't find anything to my liking. Did find some accessories.
I thought shopping would make me feel better- but it didn't. Nothing did. So i wrote this blog just now- which is just a few out of the millions of blogs I have in my mind and am planning to write. I'm an open book- and most have hated this about me.
But I feel the more open I am about my experiences- maybe just maybe- I can help someone- and stop them from making the same mistakes I have. Or in the very least- let them know they're not alone.
To all my bipolar readers out there- I'm here, willing to talk and listen.
Love you all.
See ya when I turn 29.
I'm fine with getting older- actually I feel fifty-something- not twenty-something.
I've had a LONG life, thus far. And have experienced many things most twenty-something's haven't. I'm not talking kids and marriage either.
By the time I was 25 I had been hospitalized several times- for being manic, for being suicidal, for being severely crippled from multiple eating disorders.
I spent New Years Eve 2003, inside an institution. I will at some point talk about my time in those institutions and the people I met- but now doesn't seem like the time.
I used to have many bipolar friends- I tend to attract them like a magnet. I think Bipolars attract other bipolars- it's probably a law of attraction kinda thing.
I made two very close friends in two separate hospital stays. One, Julia- became my blood sister- also bipolar and had multiple eating disorders. I loved her very much- I even gave her my teddy bear named bunny (yes I used to name stuffed animals- opposite of what they were- it's funnier that way). She had a very abusive boyfriend-who made me very nervous. I stayed in touch with her months after, he had tried to kill her. After she left him I didn't hear from her. I'm assuming she's dead at this point. Being bipolar and in an abusive relationship- don't end well. period.
My other friend, Mike was my best bud during my first hospital stay. Again like me he was bipolars- most patients in institutions are bipolar- as well as other things.
Mike left the hospital before I did- even though he tried to prolong his stay to make me happy. We caused serious chaos in the hospital with the other patients there. It was fun fucking with other crazy patients' minds. One patient, we made believe we did magic. Yeah- that's a whole other story all together.
Mike would constantly be in hospitals- he went from one to the other. He was even BANNED from other hospitals. He would sell his prescriptions instead of taking them.
And then end up seriously depressed and suicidal. Bipolars for the most part- make REALLY bad decisions. REALLY BAD. I haven't heard from Mike in many years. I assume the worst.
One of the main reasons I'm not still friends with my old bipolar buddies- is because they made horrible decisions- and weren't self-aware. Many became strippers- of all kinds. Most bipolars- almost all- are sex addicts, shopaholics,drug addicts, alcoholics.
Every time I went into an institution they tried to make me go to rehab. I argued this because I was addicted to such things only when I was manic. I can go months- even years without a drink. It's not a thing for me now.
I've seen a lot and done a lot in my life so far. It makes me feel like I've been around more years than I actually have.
I didn't go to my ten year H.S. reunion because I feel I have nothing in common with them, I didn't then and I especially don't now.
This is probably why I find it so hard to connect with people. I feel most times like I'm from another planet.
So here I am- turning only 29 years old.
Yesterday sucked, today was horrible and tomorrow ain't looking too hot either.
I'm trying to look forward to seeing my friends on Friday. Going to my favorite chill spot, White Rabbit. But I'm nervous- what if they don't have a good time? What if there's silence? I'm a very anxious person. I worry if my friends will have fun or not. And yes I will be drinking. Before Friday I had some drinks three months ago and before that, one and half years. I proved most doctors wrong. I didn't need rehab like they suggested, and I'm not dead yet.
I went shopping tonight looking for a real slutty-whorish shirt and some high heels to wear for Friday. So for one night I don't feel I look like an exhausted mom of two. But I didn't find anything to my liking. Did find some accessories.
I thought shopping would make me feel better- but it didn't. Nothing did. So i wrote this blog just now- which is just a few out of the millions of blogs I have in my mind and am planning to write. I'm an open book- and most have hated this about me.
But I feel the more open I am about my experiences- maybe just maybe- I can help someone- and stop them from making the same mistakes I have. Or in the very least- let them know they're not alone.
To all my bipolar readers out there- I'm here, willing to talk and listen.
Love you all.
See ya when I turn 29.
Friday, January 29, 2010
And here I am back again.
Yes I'm back. Already you might ask?
Well I'll give you three guesses why I'm back so quickly.
They'll all be wrong, unless you guessed- because I have no insurance. Then you be correct!
I went there- by myself- how depressing.
I told them about my chest pain, left arm pain and dizziness.
The first doctor- listened and was great. We talked about getting a cat scan of the chest and a stress tests- he said I might have to stay over.
He told me he heard some wheezing in my chest- so I'd be getting a chest x-ray.
While I'm waiting for the chest x-ray- I'm topless in a gown- totally vulnerable- a couple of junkies start hitting on me, asking me what my plans were for tonight.
Was I planning on going clubbing? They asked.
I answered no. I have two kids and a husband waiting for me at home, I don't think they'd like that.
One said to me " You could get a babysitter!"
Man, my day was getting better and better.
When I got back from the chest x-ray and waited in bed- registration came to ask me some questions.
Not long after, ANOTHER doctor came in and said- right away "Sounds Viral. I'll check your X-rays".
Then about 15 minutes later- I get handed my discharge papers- the person tells me "X-ray is clean, you probably pulled something".
This I KNOW is NOT the case-
She told me to get dressed and go.
Can you believe this?!
I TOLD them I was having chest pains, and everything.
Dave begged me to go. I didn't want to go. I wanted to wait till I got my insurance back.
I'm still in pain, and now I'm frustrated.
I'm gonna chew an aspirin again and eat something eventually.
I'm tired. Today sucked.
Stay tuned.
Well I'll give you three guesses why I'm back so quickly.
They'll all be wrong, unless you guessed- because I have no insurance. Then you be correct!
I went there- by myself- how depressing.
I told them about my chest pain, left arm pain and dizziness.
The first doctor- listened and was great. We talked about getting a cat scan of the chest and a stress tests- he said I might have to stay over.
He told me he heard some wheezing in my chest- so I'd be getting a chest x-ray.
While I'm waiting for the chest x-ray- I'm topless in a gown- totally vulnerable- a couple of junkies start hitting on me, asking me what my plans were for tonight.
Was I planning on going clubbing? They asked.
I answered no. I have two kids and a husband waiting for me at home, I don't think they'd like that.
One said to me " You could get a babysitter!"
Man, my day was getting better and better.
When I got back from the chest x-ray and waited in bed- registration came to ask me some questions.
Not long after, ANOTHER doctor came in and said- right away "Sounds Viral. I'll check your X-rays".
Then about 15 minutes later- I get handed my discharge papers- the person tells me "X-ray is clean, you probably pulled something".
This I KNOW is NOT the case-
She told me to get dressed and go.
Can you believe this?!
I TOLD them I was having chest pains, and everything.
Dave begged me to go. I didn't want to go. I wanted to wait till I got my insurance back.
I'm still in pain, and now I'm frustrated.
I'm gonna chew an aspirin again and eat something eventually.
I'm tired. Today sucked.
Stay tuned.
God has a sense of humor...
My husband is 150 lbs overweight and has a major caffeine addiction- but no, I'm the one with the heart problems.
So I finally talked to my doctor today- but can't see her because I have no health insurance. She advised me to go straight to the emergency room, not to mess around with this. Dave is yelling at me to go. I really hate hospitals- especially since my blood infections in July.
So here I go to St. Luke's- hopefully I'll be home soon- with a clean bill of health.
Wish me luck!
So I finally talked to my doctor today- but can't see her because I have no health insurance. She advised me to go straight to the emergency room, not to mess around with this. Dave is yelling at me to go. I really hate hospitals- especially since my blood infections in July.
So here I go to St. Luke's- hopefully I'll be home soon- with a clean bill of health.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
More updates...
Violet woke up today coughing so hard and her stomach was not doing well.
I had to postpone the hospital appt. to Feb. 1st.
They're only allowing one parent to stay with Violet. So Dave volunteered himself.
Either way we're both going to have a really hard day/night.
I'm going with them and stay till it gets dark- then be home and up all night with Levi. Where's those energy drinks when I need them???
The whole night I'll be thinking of Violet and how's she's doing in the hospital.
Worried sick- but still knowing she's safe with her daddy being there with her.
He's WAY better in emergency situations then me. He stays calm- he's kind of like a superhero in that aspect- he can handle ANYTHING. Even if he's scared or nervous he won't show it. Though after being with him for so many years I can kind of tell when he's secretly panicking. Just like I can ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS tell when he's lying. It's a gift;) I can tell when most people lie. I guess so many years of me lying- got me in tune with "the ways of the liar". Ha ha. Sad but true.
I've taken Violet to many doctor's appt by myself- but I don't think I'd be able to handle Violet alone in the hospital. I'd be a wreck. Dave can totally handle it.
Being a parent now- means I can't go anywhere without them and NOT worry about them.
Dave and I went out for the first time in what seemed like forever- with out the kiddios- to my friend's house- and it felt like God himself was trying to stop us from going. I had looked forward to going out ALL day!
First Violet was tantruming- so I left the house a few minutes late.
Which- if you know me- I NEVER do. I hate being late- I'm usually early or on time ALWAYS, If I'm ever late- which I'm not- something beyond my control happened.
Then the bus driver was taking the longest break ever!!!
I had no money for a cab- I didn't even have a working cell phone (and still don't). So I couldn't call and say I was running late.
Then the connecting bus never showed and we had to walk for quite awhile in the cold.
Dave started having chest pains. And he looked horrible- sweating turning bright red.
It was bad. I was really worried. We made it to my friend's corner and he said his chest hurt really badly and we had to get home right away and maybe go to the emergency room.
I didn't even have a phone to call them.
We got home- in a panic.
Dave ended up feeling better after awhile- he drank water, took aspirin, sat down.
We both ended up feeling sick later that night. And we've been sick all week with what Violet has- upper respiratory infection.
That was a scary wake up call for Dave and he promises to take better care of himself from now on.
I gotta keep my husband, my mom and my dad on track- to take better care of their bodies and health.
My job is never done.
Violet is feeling a little better- we were finally able to break her fever. Thank goodness!!!
I'm hopefully getting my health insurance back! We find out later this week.
I'm grateful because I need to see a heart doctor ASAP.
I've been having some difficultly with my heart again- I had this problem for a few years- it was better while I was pregnant with Levi- but it's back. ARGH! I'm sure I'll be fine- just need to check in with a doctor. Having no health insurance is terrifying. I've never been so afraid to get sick EVER.
Never a dull moment. Stress doesn't help it.
I've been doing a lot of Yoga again. Getting my flexibility back- and trying to be calm and focused.
So far this year's SUCKED big time. But I'm gonna change all that and turn it around.
No more bad times- only good.
Cheers- to an abundance of health, wealth, love and happiness.
PEACE out!
I had to postpone the hospital appt. to Feb. 1st.
They're only allowing one parent to stay with Violet. So Dave volunteered himself.
Either way we're both going to have a really hard day/night.
I'm going with them and stay till it gets dark- then be home and up all night with Levi. Where's those energy drinks when I need them???
The whole night I'll be thinking of Violet and how's she's doing in the hospital.
Worried sick- but still knowing she's safe with her daddy being there with her.
He's WAY better in emergency situations then me. He stays calm- he's kind of like a superhero in that aspect- he can handle ANYTHING. Even if he's scared or nervous he won't show it. Though after being with him for so many years I can kind of tell when he's secretly panicking. Just like I can ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS tell when he's lying. It's a gift;) I can tell when most people lie. I guess so many years of me lying- got me in tune with "the ways of the liar". Ha ha. Sad but true.
I've taken Violet to many doctor's appt by myself- but I don't think I'd be able to handle Violet alone in the hospital. I'd be a wreck. Dave can totally handle it.
Being a parent now- means I can't go anywhere without them and NOT worry about them.
Dave and I went out for the first time in what seemed like forever- with out the kiddios- to my friend's house- and it felt like God himself was trying to stop us from going. I had looked forward to going out ALL day!
First Violet was tantruming- so I left the house a few minutes late.
Which- if you know me- I NEVER do. I hate being late- I'm usually early or on time ALWAYS, If I'm ever late- which I'm not- something beyond my control happened.
Then the bus driver was taking the longest break ever!!!
I had no money for a cab- I didn't even have a working cell phone (and still don't). So I couldn't call and say I was running late.
Then the connecting bus never showed and we had to walk for quite awhile in the cold.
Dave started having chest pains. And he looked horrible- sweating turning bright red.
It was bad. I was really worried. We made it to my friend's corner and he said his chest hurt really badly and we had to get home right away and maybe go to the emergency room.
I didn't even have a phone to call them.
We got home- in a panic.
Dave ended up feeling better after awhile- he drank water, took aspirin, sat down.
We both ended up feeling sick later that night. And we've been sick all week with what Violet has- upper respiratory infection.
That was a scary wake up call for Dave and he promises to take better care of himself from now on.
I gotta keep my husband, my mom and my dad on track- to take better care of their bodies and health.
My job is never done.
Violet is feeling a little better- we were finally able to break her fever. Thank goodness!!!
I'm hopefully getting my health insurance back! We find out later this week.
I'm grateful because I need to see a heart doctor ASAP.
I've been having some difficultly with my heart again- I had this problem for a few years- it was better while I was pregnant with Levi- but it's back. ARGH! I'm sure I'll be fine- just need to check in with a doctor. Having no health insurance is terrifying. I've never been so afraid to get sick EVER.
Never a dull moment. Stress doesn't help it.
I've been doing a lot of Yoga again. Getting my flexibility back- and trying to be calm and focused.
So far this year's SUCKED big time. But I'm gonna change all that and turn it around.
No more bad times- only good.
Cheers- to an abundance of health, wealth, love and happiness.
PEACE out!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)