Welcome to my LIFE!!!

Karen, my darling, is not used to my family just yet.
Marco on the other hand- knows my family's madness and is used to it.
My therapist for YEARS- even to this very day- wants my family and I to have a reality t.v. show-
she said there would be something for everyone-
The poor, the autistic, the deaf, the bipolars, the gay community, the mentally insane, the moms struggling out there- you name it! We got EVERY reality show beat by a long shot!
You all know my family and I are moving- all together.
My two deaf parents (they say they are hard-of-hearing- but we ALL know better ;), my autistic sister with a heart condition, my two special needs kids (autistic), and my "yet to be diagnosed" husband (he said this himself).
My dad, as every knows is losing his mind- truthfully. Dementia here he comes, no joke!
He is all over the place! I'm just surprised he finds his way home everyday.
Yesterday Karen ordered some food for my mom and dad, at a nearby place- to pick up.
She tells my dad to run in and pick up the order "for Karen".
He says "For Karen?"
"Yes, for Karen".
He comes out of the restaurant with a small plastic bag-
Karen asked "Where the food??!!!"
He replied "right here! Two sandwiches!"
"ummm, Jeff that's not what I ordered!!!! You didn't pick up what I ordered".
My dad gets pissed off because breakfast costs $14 for two people. He actually bitched and moaned about this.
Karen told me the story- I told her "THIS IS MY LIFE!!! DAY IN AND OUT!!! 24/7 CRAZY TOWN!"
He never ever follows direction, he does everything opposite!
My mom wasn't doing so well yesterday either. She hung up the phone on us about three times.
And she wasn't listening to a word we were saying!! It was so frustrating!!!
Again, I should be used to this by now, but I never am.
My mom asked Dave where he was- he said "In the car on the way to Brooklyn to meet up with you".
She asked again where he was, over and over again-
he then responded "I'm running down the highway Helene!!! Running to Brooklyn!"
Karen, Marco and I were laughing so freakin' hard!!!
We couldn't stop!
This is a typical conversation with my family- very typical.
I think we are all from another planet or something.
We get there- she decided to put the computer in a different place then we wanted. Even though I'd told her over five times where it should go.
Everyone was screaming.
Did I mention my parents are deaf?!
This means they think everyone ELSE is deaf too! So they scream everything!!!
It's madness, I tell you- madness!
I'm starving at this point- saying I'm so hungry I might eat a small puppy if someone didn't help me get some damn food SOON!
I don't know my way around my neighborhood, or any part of Brooklyn for that matter. I have to learn everything from scratch! Very scary for me!
Dave decides to put the highchairs together- in the middle of the hallway- I have no clue why.
We're trying to get out of the house- to go eat and to the carpet store before they closed.
My mom is screaming what's the carpet store's name!!!
I yell out "Carpet munchers!!!"
Marco's hysterically laughing, everyone else is confused-
This is my life!!!
We got to the carpet store- but we didn't have the measurements with us- we had left it back at the house!
OY VEY!
I was going to pick out anything at this point- I needed FOOD NOW!
Levi was biting me he was so hungry! OUCH!
I decided to get out of the car with the kids and my sister and head to McDonald's for some quick grub.
I'm ordering there for about 9 people-
The women looked at me " At this point you should've just cooked."
"Well I am ordering for almost 9 people. Though I think I could eat this all by myself at this point"- I said laughing- but it was the truth!
I then said to her- "I'm in the middle of moving, I have no food, or cookware in my house yet- so McD's will just have to do."
She apologized, and understood. After that she was super nice to me.
I told her "I'm poor and moving int he neighborhood. You'll be seeing a lot of me. Plus can you imagine how much this would have cost from a diner?!!
She laughed!! Because we both knew the truth to that!
The cable guy was at our house for hours!! "I asked him if he's ready to kill himself yet?"
He laughed- but I could see in his eyes- He wanted to!
Karen picks us up at McDonald's, and then we head back to the house.
The kids are running around- we are trying to figure out the t.v. to put on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
We're putting baby gates together- and cribs. It was insane. The whole time my mom is having a nervous breakdown and my dad is mumbling to himself- something- I have no clue what nor do I care at this point.
I have a splitting migraine and bad cramps- from the new birth control pill. Plus my boobs are growing by the fucking second! No joke!
We tried to get a car service because Karen couldn't drive us home, and it was the kids' bedtime- they were cranky and crying.
The car service didn't give my mom a price quote and then shows up at our house asking for ....get this...$80!!!
We were like, are you crazy?!
You didn't give my mom a price quote, she's deaf, and you show up asking for $80 to take us home?!!!
That started a war with Dave and this stupid driver!
He was taking advantage of my mom being deaf.
CRIMINAL!!!
Don't ever use the car service "Mill Basin" in Brooklyn- their crooks!!! Scumbags!!!
We didn't take the car obviously!!!
Karen was our savior and drove us home. She is my angel!!!
Thank you Karen so much!!!
I owe you BIG TIME!!!
BTW if you are wondering how I know Karen- she's engaged to Marco- my homeboy.
And is the mama of one of the best kids I know, Maya.
I'm so lucky to have them- otherwise I would've committed myself to an institution yesterday.

P.S. - I get a letter from SSI asking me to come in again- twice in one year- nothing has changed. Actually things got worse. I'm still fucking Bipolar and CRAZY! HELLO!!!!

Kisses Bitches!!!
Wouldn't you watch our reality show???!!!

*found this photo of me- I felt it was appropriate.

Thus far...

No call back for today. It's okay I'm not even a little bit upset.

Levi did so great, this happens all the time. I told Levi "Don't worry baby, you'll get them next time!" with a wink.

And today's Dave and my anniversary- 12 years to the day we met. At a movie premiere for There's Something About Mary. He was 25 years old, I was only 17. He was freaked because he fell for me right away ( yeah that's the way I roll son;) and I was still in High School. The minute he found out that 17 was legal- nothing got in his way. But he was a total gentleman. He was naming our children probably the second month we were dating- he was NUTS! BTW- none of the names made it- he wanted names like- "Coconut" and "Banana"- I should of realized he was a foodie a long long time ago. haha!

He broke up with me at the five month mark-because "it was going to fast". I thought he was so crazy- and at the end of his speech- handed him a candy cane ( that was in my pocket) and walked away. At that moment he realized he WAS crazy- and wanted to be together again.

He broke up with me again, right before prom- I ended up taking my girl, Helene- shout out to you girlie! We had a blast!

Don't worry- I broke up a bunch of times with him, and I fucked up SOOO many times- HELLO I'm bipolar! That's what I do!

But then many years later- here we are married with two kids!

Today he gave me a card ( I hadn't made him anything yet- oops) and it said "I'd marry you again! Love Yo baby Daddy!"

Yep- that's my boo. I think he's NUTS!;)

I wouldn't marry me again, instead I'd live in sin- because that's the way to do it! haha!

Other than that-

I'm a little freaked out, because we are so totally broke this month. Thanks to family, we have some food in the house, but when that runs out, who knows.

We would be okay- if we had food stamps! Fucking food stamps- they are so backed up on court cases because they cut everyone's freaking food stamps! It's such bullshit.

The government is so messed up!

At least then I'd have food money. I wish we'd get an answer already from them, so if they decided to turn us down- we could just apply again. But of course they gotta leave us hanging. Because they owe me several months back- so I'd get retro.

ARGH!

I'm trying not to freak and just stay positive, but it's scary.

I had to use all my SSI money for food, and we're only half-way through the damn month.

Calm down, right? I should just relax.

It's a special day after all- both kids have therapy, I got to cook and clean- the norm, and find sometime to make this day special in some way.

Basically I got to "Nut up or shut up!"

Kisses Bitches- remember live in sin!!!

Love yas!

*photo of Dave and I at Coney Island when I was about 9 months pregnant with Levi