After writing this morning's blog post, I had to go to 125th street for a meeting with CPSE.Remember- I was low on clean clothes. So I stuffed myself into, a tight pair of shredded jeans and a preppy collared shirt- yeahhhh- not my favorite outfit to say the least.
It was uncomfortable.
I went to catch the uptown train, and ran into a nearly empty train car- only to find out there wasn't any air conditioning!!! So I quickly stepped out and headed to another car- and saw the doors close! The conductor stuck his head out and said- "Hey, is something wrong with that car?" To which I replied, "yeah, it's too hot." I asked if he could please please please open the train door, to which- he looked me up and down- smiled and quickly opened the door!
HELLS FUCKING YES!!! Things are looking my way! This is awesome!
When I got to my stop, I saw the conductor again, and said "Thanks again, have a great day!"
He then replied- "Oh yeaaah sweetheart- you too."
So even in this busted up outfit, I still got moves.
I saw a reflection of myself- and realized the jeans that I stuffed my ass into- made me look like I had ass and hips for days- ya know what I mean?
But instead of being self conscious I decided to work with it and I felt empowered.
On 125th street I had to walk by so many projects and a whole lot gangstas.
I gave them all whiplash as I walked by.
So instead of feeling like a victim, I felt in control. Like I was in charge. It was kind of fun.
The shirt I was wearing wasn't showy at all, but still men looked. It was very perplexing.
The meeting went well. I finally got the services I've been fighting for months for my daughter. Overall it was a good day.
The downtown local train wasn't working, so I had to go uptown- to then transfer and go back downtown. It was confusing. On the way uptown, at 137th street station I saw someone I knew. I don't believe at all in "coincidences"- this was fate. I'd met an awesome jeweler back when I did the block fair a couple of months back. We actually live only two blocks apart from each other- but we met on 137th street!!! It's was crazy!
So we talked all the way back home.
Shout out to my girl, Peta!!! You're awesome!!!
After a day like today- I'm actually loving my body- and feeling very confident in it. I like days like today- where things work out.
My friend wrote a blog about- boobs!- after reading my -boobie blog- and it's so great!!!- check it out-
http://thelifeandtimesofanymutt.blogspot.com/2010/07/boob-rant.html
I, like her, developed boobies- at an early age, age 11 to be exact.
Boobies aren't the only word I use for breasts, there's are jugs, bazoombaas, melons, jugaroos, tittyballs (Dave's fave). I use them all and many many more- because it's funny- that why!
I noticed in fifth grade, boys were looking at me differently. In junior high school it was even worse, because I had ass, hips and boobs- so I was very self conscious of my body and the way people looked at me.
I was always a very sexual person, I mean my first crush was when I was a little kid- on Supergirl ( from the movie- if you don't know this movie than you are a wee-little-baby), in a way I was kind of hyper-sexual, from a very young age. Then add that I was a total and complete flirt- so I was trouble. But I didn't lose my virginity, until I was "of age", that was the one thing I held onto and did everything else- BUT that, until then. I'm actually glad I did, because my mania really kicked in after I had sex for the first time. So if I'd lost it early on- I would've been a mess! Most bipolar are nymphomaniacs- well all the ones I've ever known, including me.
I really admire my friends that wait until they are ready to have sex. I still think that is the very best way to go, and to not rush these things because sex DOES change you in some way shape or form- forever.
There were a few guys, that tried to force me, leading to a few bruises on me AND them- don't worry they didn't succeed.
Plus I was a hot fucking mess in my teenage years- I still to this day hate the way I looked back then. So g-d bless you if you liked me back then, really G-d bless you.
But all that's in the past- and today I felt good about myself. And I'm more confident being nearly thirty years old- than I ever was at 13, 14 years old.
Now I LOVE my tits and ass- and I thank g-d for it.
G-d bless curves everywhere!!! Big and small.
Work your inner Diva- and even if you don't feel confident NOW- you should FAKE it until you do- because there are always people that will find you attractive- no matter what size or shape.
Feel good about yourself- and people will follow. Heck you might even meet Mister or Miss right? Who knows.
Confidence has always caught my eye.
Kisses Bitches!!! And work those tits and ASS!
*beautiful photo of Marilyn Monroe
