Bad dreams...

Today I woke up from a startling dream- which I will get to in a second- when I got up out of bed- that's when the pain set in.

From the accident yesterday of me falling on the subway stairs- I must have pulled several muscles I didn't even knew I had-when I landed on my knee- because my knee doesn't hurt, my entire thigh is killing me. I have been walking with a limp the entire day- because you all know I can't sit still to save my life. It hurts so badly and nothing- Advil nor Tylenol makes even a dent in the pain.

Hopefully it'll heal soon, the last thing I need is another freaking doctor visit.

The "dream" I had was about my mother.
Apparently in the dream itself- I had a vision of a very large blue bird slamming into my kitchen window and dying- it's a little bit more complicated than that- but I thought I'd sum it up quickly.

Everyone in my dream I explained the "vision" to, told me that meant my mother would die and I didn't have that much longer with her.
Even though several other things occurred in the dream- this thought stuck with me.
And I kept picturing my mom not being around- it really upset me.

When I saw her this morning- I thought about telling her about my dream, but I knew it would upset her- and I didn't feel like she was going to die today- so I might as well let her go to work in peace.

When she got back from work- she looked a wreck. She didn't feel well and was lightheaded.
I told her she has to take better care of herself.
She later told me her computer died at work today.
Dave and I just looked at each other.

I finally told her about my dream- and why I was concerned.
She was afraid at first- but I let her know- all I want her to do is be careful and I think everything should be okay.

As I've mentioned before- almost every dream I have- has come true in some way or another.
Of course there have been some ( only a handful) that are just my fears- or they play out very differently in the real world.

I feel like everything will be okay more or less. It just really shook me up thinking one day my mom could be gone- and the last thing I would say to her- might not be the last words I want her to remember, you know?

I can't get the vision out of my head. I just have to tell myself everything's going to be okay.

Kisses Mamas and Papas and..bitches:)

*photo found when looking up large blue bird- this bird looks very similar to the one in my dream- very eerie.

Come true to fast.

Seems that my dreams are coming true a little too fast for me.
The dream/vision I talked about in my last blog is the one I'm talking about.
My hair was starting to fall out a little less these past few days- then all of a sudden today- BAM! So much hair down the drain, I had to clean out the tub eight times!
It was intense. I was thinking about buying a turban- not the turban you're thinking about- the OTHER turban. The one worn by divas in old movies. You know, with huge sunglasses and a scarf. It's coming to that time, y'all.
My mom asked if I wanted a new wig- and I have NEVER turned down a wig before in my life!!! I'm not about to start now.
I was talking with a friend today and said- shaving your own head is one thing- but having the CHOICE to be bald be made for you- is another. They understood.
My hair doesn't look so bad right now- but if something doesn't change soon. Oh boy.
Dave says that I make a very sexy bald chick. Thanks Hun! But it's frustrating.
I went to the doctor yesterday and had tests done. They are also testing me for diabetes, as well as my vitamin levels.
I have SO many different doctors appointments to go to- cardiologist (chest pains), dermatologist (for my hair), neurologist (for my migraines), and Gyno (for the possible endometriosis). Oh man this sucks. The doctor thinks maybe they are all connected- but let's see. And the soonest dates I could get for all these appointments were in APRIL! I kind of need a doctor sooner than that. My main doctor definitely agrees with me.
So what do you think- Diva turban or brand new wig???
Dave wants to make this summer about Roller Boogie ( check out the movie it's hilarious- and ridiculously awesome). I keep telling him I SUCK at anything with wheels- but he won't take "NO" for an answer. Plus I'd love to be able to roller boogie (dancing while rollerskating). So he suggests I get a "Farrah" wig. HOLLA!
I'm also looking forward to the summer- everyday in the summer- is freaking magical for me.
I LOVE the summer. This summer I have Violet's THIRD birthday party and also Levi's FIRST birthday party to plan for.
I go all out for parties- I LOVE get togethers. I love the decorating, the goodie bags, the food, ALL of it.
And of course seeing my friends and family.
I'm trying to remain positive and not think the worst- some moments- all the things happening to my body get to me- but I gotta get myself back up. Find energy SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW.

Thanks everyone for all your support.

More to come. Thanks for listening:)


*photo of the brilliant, fabulous actress Maggie Gyllenhaal- looking very DIVA! I love it!

Dreams...

I have always had prophetic dreams- since I was a child.
The dreams- would either come true later that day- or week- or even month.
Not to say EVERY single dream of mine is prophet- some are just strange, and random- because I ate something horrible right before bed- I am human after all.
But I always know which ones will come true.
For example- two months before I defied all laws and got pregnant with Violet- I had a dream I had a little girl, and her name was Violet. That's how I knew I could have a child- and therefore did. I also dreamed I'd have a son, his name did not appear in the dream, which made it more difficult to name him, and that he would be blond- which he was.
Every time before I got really ill- I'd have a dream about it. There were many dreams that I was emaciated- and later that month or year- something would lead to that. Usually my eating disorders- but sometimes not.
This past week I've had very scary prophetic dreams.
Again, my dreams are not always so clear and cut- I usually have to decipher them- or later in the week when the dream plays out- I realize what the dream originally meant to tell me.
A friend of mine- asked me if I was a witch. If you have to be a witch to have visions- which I doubt- then I guess I am. But I believe all types of people have these gifts. Dave has fantastic intuition- and I trust it. Just as he usually trusts mine. If I tell him I have a bad feeling about something- he usually listens.
And it does play out- most of the time.
I believe most people have this ability, to dream their future, or have fantastic intuition, but most people don't it themselves enough, to believe it.
This dream I had early in the week- made me particularly nervous.
I was on a dock- actually there were THREE of me- on a dock.
One future, one present, and one- not so sure from what time.
One of them- I was completely bald ( shiny bald- I mean no hair!)- and sick, and emaciated- hugging the "other" me, wearing a brown wig and the other had blondish wavy long hair. All were different body types, but one was very very sickly thin.
I was looking at photographs of myself on the dock that had been overlapped, and had been taken at different moments in time- but at the same place. Made to look like there had been three of me at once.
Very strange, I know. Disturbing yes. It makes me think- wow I have got to get to the doctor quick! All these things that are happening to my body right now, are very scary. I wasn't as disturbs until I had the dream. Now I have a feeling of what the dream means- but I won't say it here.
I just wanted to give an example of what my dreams are like.
Another thing that can happen in a dream,I'll see someone I know in my dream- then ALWAYS later that day- see them. Doesn't matter if I haven't seen this person in years- I WILL see them that very day. It's bizarre and kind of fun at times.
Knowing this ahead of time.
I will leave you with this- listen to your dreams- even if they are very strange- they could be telling you something, even warning you.
Everyone has intuition- I think it's time to trust it.



More to come...
Stay tuned.